20 April.. what a black monday

he was supposed to turn 60 in June. God had other plans.

mom texted sis and i saying he’s tired, and that we should come down and see him.. hopefully when he sees us he will feel better. we did not even set foot in the plane when we got the call that he had passed. i havent seen dad in 3 years, and sis hasnt seen him since start of 2008. the flight was a blur really.. once we got there my cousin picked us up, took us to the hospital where dad passed.. we had to say goodbye to one of the most amazing people and one of the greatest fathers who ever lived in the morgue.. mkaffan. ice cold. yet smiling. he passed away smiling. i still cant believe i have to say allah yer7amo every time i mention my dad.. he did not get to see me in white, never will see my children.. but im sure he will be watching over us all. he always was our guardian. our protector.

please send out a prayer when you read this. Allah yer7amak w ye7sen eleik ya rab.

random thoughts

* its funny (not funny ha ha) how some people like to ruin things for others when its ruined for them! why dont people just leave others alone?! especially the happier ones.. karma is not be taken lightly people!

* i read this sentence somewhere and ever since i did, its been stuck in the back of my head, resurfacing every once in a while to fuel my insomnia again: “if u have no passion for what u do, u’ll never be really happy“..

i have certainly reached that stage. depressingly so.

i’ve prolly been feeling it for a while but denying it coz we as humans do that sometimes, its taking the easy way out basically.. it takes so much risk and effort and energy and even courage to change your life and career dramatically. will you make it? will you not? addeh 3alam 7ayeshmato feek if you dint! not to mention the monetary burden of not being in the same lifestyle level you’re used to (not to mention the people you support financially – i.e. parents or kids)

i feel like i have reached that midlife crisis stage, but im not a man, and im not middle aged, and my crisis doesnt involve cheating or buying a cherry red car! i just think the time is right now. not next year or the one after. now.

Deception

the psychology of deception is an interesting study, especially that of self-deception..

deception by general defenition is the act of convincing another to believe information that is not true, or not the whole truth. (brought to you by Wiki).  (personally i believe hiding facts is just as horrible and hurtful as lying). Self-deception  is the process or act of misleading ourselves to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid, self-deception in short is the way we justify false beliefs to ourselves!

Psychologists usually focus on unconscious motivations and intentions when discussing self-deception, they also usually consider it as a bad thing, although its sometimes used as a self guarding mechanism one uses to avoid getting hurt/broken/shocked. we do it all the time. yes we do. i might even exaggerate and claim its an instinctive act at times! but dont quote me on it : D

In relationships, self-deception sometimes helps couples see the best in each other, to a certain extent, relationships could not survive without some level of self-deception, but too much optimism or denial, can be just as costly. The trick is to engage in self-deception in order to see the best in a partner without letting self-deception create too much vulnerability.  In relationships, it can create more harm than good when it limits people from seeing important warning signs, or it leads people to overlook serious problems, or it causes people to put the best spin on everything that happens.  & frankly thats why i personally dont believe in traditional marriages. as everyone wears a mask and partners use self deception to make the suiter look better in their eyes in order to make it happen and rid themselves of society’s pressures. (which in my very humble opinion, is no valid reason to get married!).

 is there a point of this post? not really, just some psychobabble.  every day life brings thoughts and the psychologist in me keeps analyzing people non-stop!

the art of manipulation

is very widespread, i am inclined to believe its actually instinctive!

(long psychobabble post ahead!)

if you observe children, you find that they are masters at emotional blackmail, and so are parents when they get older, simply coz they go back to being kids again! younger siblings manipulate their parents to blaming the older kids for messes they created.. bosses manipulate their subordinates into doing all the work for them then arrogantly taking all the credit for it and then some! and that’s where the art part comes in. art here has to be subtle.

i like to think that manipulation is split up into two directions, one is mind manipulation, while the other is emotional manipulation.

mind manipulation is best described as brainwashing or mental hacking.. which means enslaving the person and puppet-izing them, sometimes with the use of hypnosis. most of mind manipulation is seen in cults, groups, and the army. i believe in the Arabic saying (il zann a2wa min il se7er – loosely translated into ‘continuous nagging is stronger than voodoo’).. techniques include: endless repetition, group-think (using the whole group to draw each person into its mindset), enemy creation, and control of both the surroundings and the flow of information. by themselves, each technique has little effect, but when taken together, they create a strong influence over personal thought-patterns and behaviors. i tend to believe that this form of manipulation began with satan, and is still ongoing.

mind manipulation is a bigger concept and a more agressive tactic and is used usually by groups, emotional manipulation is used between individuals and is more subtle and sometimes unnoticable except after a while, so you need to adjust the sensetivity of your bullsh!t meter to escape unharmed!

you can spot an emotional manipulator easily, they 1) never try to be honest and even if you ask them specific questions you will only get vague answers 2) say one thing and later assure you they did not say it! its called crazy making, and be sure to make them know ur on to it, carry a pad and pen if you to jot down stuff if have to! it’ll tick them off. 3) make you feel guilty for speaking up OR not speaking up, for caring or not giving a damn, for being sensetive or insensetive. they will make you feel guilty for anything and everything, since most of us are inclined to do whatever is necessary to reduce the feeling of guilt and thats where they want us! 4) have no sense of accountability at all, and will never take responsibility for themselves or their behavior, and usually they dont do their ‘dirty’ work themselves either. they manipulate others to do it for them. very satanic behavior.

if you’re being vulnerable, dont show it, an emotional manipultor present will take advantage of it and will be the willing helper until they get full control.

 

randomness

* hypocrites must be, in addition to liars, my most loathed category of society. i dont understand how can one think something, and do another. or be nice to someone in the face, and then take their chance at bashing/offending them behind their backs, in the case im referring to, it was deliberate, & right infront of me, but in a concealed manner.. as in, using an Alias!  you know yourself. and i dont know how you even began to think i would be so oblivious. im no idiot.

* actually yeah, thats all i wanned to blurt out today!

change is the only constant

everything else is variable..  i completely agree with that proverb.

everyone changes at some point, i believe it happens at least once every 5 years of ones life, some change occurs in preferences, taste, degree of stubbornness, some qualities mellow out, others become more intense.. even if it was a very small change, it happens, personally, some things i liked 5 years ago don’t quite matter to me now..

so when you realize that your partner/spouse is changing.. in ways you did not see/expect, what do you do? do you immediately run away? do you doubt the foundation of your relationship? does it make you evaluate your current partner’s personality as a separate one from the initial personality you knew him/her with? i guess what I’m trying to ask is: would change eventually lead to an end?

one cant always be certain of everything, however, in relationships, i reckon its more of a leap of faith! you’re not certain of how things will go, but you have almost utmost faith in your better half.. or at least that’s what the idealist in me thinks.. i believe love will conquer all.. yeah yeah i know, wishfull thinking, foolish optimist, etc etc.. but that’s what i believe.. love should be the foundation, the base, the essence. and it should be the reason for eventual acceptance, and a partner’s accomodation to those changes. also, i find talking helps, there should be clear communication between a couple to figure out what is the reason behind any change, especially if that change is dramatic. coz i dont think anyone wakes up to realize something has changed! its a process, and stages, and unless the couple communicates properly, it will go unnoticed until it hits you one day and you find yourself in a rut!

the scary part is not knowing how to take a leap of faith anymore..

Lyrics of the day

Premeditation will kill the trust
They’ll never know if you fear me
With every second collecting dust
I feel so bloated and weary

……

 
She’ll cut you down with a single thrust
She’s taken over too quickly
No medication can cure the lust
So say a prayer for the sickly

from my favorite band at the moment, Seether, song called Like Suicide.

25 things one has to eat before one dies

i will not post accompanying pictures, since its a long post!

25.  octopus: especially baby octopus, deep fried with tartar or marinara sauce, or simply in a salad, yum!! it might not look very appealing in the raw, but when cooked the taste is heavenly.

24. gazelle meat:  in my meat eating days i was pretty adventurous with the meat i tried. and gazelle or dear meat was exquisite! very woody kinda earthy taste, dark meat, cooked to perfection with red potatoes and gravy.. num!

23. Lobster: this sweet meat has to be eaten at least once before one moves on! its light, sweet, succulent, and simple.

22. sushi:  sushi must be my favorite, even though i dont eat red meat or white, i love seafood! and i crave every once in a while, and usually in the form of sushi. i do not appreciate sashimi but sushi is amazing, especially with a heavy dose of wasabi! Yum!

21. hot dog from a street cart! lol i dont think there’s anything better than that! warm bread, all the toppings one would wish, and the great outdoors! (for those of you in the states, dont take that delicacy for granted!)

20. curry:  i think the indian cuisine is one of the best if not the ultimate best in rich, colourful, spicey aromatic foods. and curry being the king of all food, best if eaten in south india, or southern indian restaurants, coz they make the best curries ever!

19. spanish paella: paella is a unique ’saucepan’ dish from spain, that is both spicey and very de-lish however made! usually its a mix of rice, meat, seafood, vegetables, beans, and spices cooked together with meat/veggie stock and chili paste, you can be creative with the ingredients, or even cook it vegetarian!

18.  mexican mole: bit of a wierd combination, but its a sauce made of chile and chocolate served over meat!  it tastes great whatever the meat used is.. i like the idea of chocolate with salty foods, it makes it more interesting, like in the french cuisine they have an amazing dish of grilled fish and white choc sauce.

17. authentic wood fired oven baked pizza: this is my ultimate favorite! even more than wood fire ovens, i love pizza made on charcoal (like the turkish pizza) that is a must try (and a sure instant love)!

16. sweet potato: as a main dish or dessert, sweet potato is a delicious veggie that is versatile and goes nicely with lamost all cuisines.  i personally like it as sweet potato tempura, or sweet potato pie, but many mash it instead of normal potatoes as it is lower in carb and is suitable for ppl following the GI diet.

15. chowder soup: my favorite type of soup, its chunky, thickened with crackers, its got a creamy base (usually made out of milk, skimmed milk can be used also, hurrah!) the most famous chowder soup is clam chowder, but i personally love potato, corn or mixed vegetable chowder soup more. healthy, chunky, and so good in the cold days!

14. miso soup: or ‘dashi’ is a traditional Japanese soup made out of miso paste some add tofu, some add veggies, the variations are vast but the base is one. a very healthy Japanese snack or side dish, and i think everyone should try it at least once in their lifetime..

13. lucky # 13 is paneer: most famous in indian/persian cuisine. the non melting, non fat cheese cubes incorporated in many vegetarian dishes and i personally love the indian use of paneer in dishes like paneer makhni or dingri mattar paneer.. once tried, you will fall in love instantly!

12. salted lassi: keeping with the indian cuisine, also widely drunk in pakistan and neighbouring south asian countries, is lassi. i love the salted one more than the sweet one coz it makes more sense! its simply yoghurt mixed with a bit of water, salt, pepper, cumin seeds, and sometimes milk and lemon juice.  perfect for summer days!

11. pumpkin hummus: this is a great chinese take on the traditional middle eastern hummus! and it is  a must try. no regrets there i assure you…

10. durian fruit:  the notorious foul smelled fruit that has been banned from buses, hotels, and hospitals in many asian countries, in fact some countries may fine you if you get into a cab or a bus with a durian fruit in your lap! it is a creamy sweet tasting fruit, if you can get past its horrible smell, it tastes like.. vanilla pudding! Durian is also known for its healthy benefits as it cures insomnia, OCD, suicidal depression, parkinson’s disease, PMS, and also can curb a glutton appetite since its rich in proteins and minerals and very filling.

9. dragon fruit: funky color! and tastes amazing. also very healthy and is known to reduce weight and reverse diabetes type 2 if eaten regularly. i love the scent and color of it more than my love for its taste to be frank!

8. rambutans: the overall image isnt so appealing and one may take time to figure out how to tackle it, but once you get there, oh wow the sweetest, silkiest, and most refreshing fruit ever is just waiting! One of my favorites and although i sometimes wish it did not have a seed (flaky skinned seed that you should avoid at all costs when digging into a rambutan) but still is one of my faves!

7. freshly baked saj goodies: i love saj, especially in winter, freshly made before your eyes, with tons of zatar and cheese, and just baked to a perfect crunch! YUM! with mint tea and great company, this is prolly one of the (many) things i would love to eat right  before i die! lol

6. pocky: a japanese snack simply being biscuit sticks dipped in chocolate or strawberry! i love them and the original ones should be tried at least once in a lifetime. recently the variations have become endless: cherry cream covered, almond bits and choc, coffee, toffee, banana and choc, vanilla, and the last i tried was an amazing Glico bitter chocolate pocky! Yum-eee! the japanese come up with the craziest stuff most of the time, but pocky, is a sane yet very addictive treat!  

5. krispy kreme’s original glazed doughnut:  ‘nuf said!

4. MacDonald’s Big Mac: again ‘nuf said!

3. freshly bakes ice cream cones: first, they smell alluring and drool inducing! secondly, they taste just out of this world when they’re fresh!

2. home grown tomatoes: there is nothing more fulfilling than picking up vegetable and fruits and legumes from your own back yard, but even more so if that home grown item is a red, rich, sweet, and juicy tomato! seriously, unbelievable.

1. choclate mousse cheesecake: this i bet women will agree with me on, but men will appreciate since its the most sinful item of food that you can ever sink your teeth into! actually u will not need to use teeth for this as it melts so seductively in your mouth infusing all that (fat) rich taste.. ahhhh! beautiful!

this is my list, feel free to add or even make up your own!
enjoy good food, be adventurous, try new things, especially in their native country, try to stay healthy with your choices, at least most of the time you can always indulge every once in a while..

….

why does it seem like il 3alam ma betsadde2 yseer shi la yseer everyone talking and blogging about it! the whole blogosphere is repleted and overcrowded with the shoe-throwing incident. are people THAT uninspired? and would people please stop calling my blessed day of birth  ’youm il 8anader’! :rant:

bla bla bloo

* what is it bout national day that makes ppl ’snap’ in this country! the traffic and accidents and ta5mees and burning wheels and face paint and all that crap! its ittihad, not ta7reer!

* as Eid drops by every year, i find myself more detached of every jolly emotion it should bring.. im more convnced that Eid and all other celebrated occasions, are mostly great forkids.. adults lose something as they get older that doesnt make em enjoy these celebrations.. but the wierdest thing is, i love christmas! of course  for the decorations and colors and all that, not for the religious reason behind it.  oh and Kel 3am w ento b5eir.

* why is it that men hate questions so much!? normal questions and innocent inquiries make a man blow up! inno r their brains designed differently!? like to identify any form of query as nagging! eft! i have no idea how we came from that creature’s rib!

* im sick of everything and need a MAJOR change. suggestions!?

crash and burn..

sometimes.. you plan something unintentionally.. its not like you plan it on paper and figure out all its details, just something you want to happen.. sometime in the future in a way or another.. you’re just taking it a day at a time.. all signs are positive.. everything seems to be heading that way.. then something happened.. life happened. and life is a hoe.

so what is one to do when one’s plans come crashing down? one cant give up! coz i believe that winners never quit, and quitters never win. but how do you go on with your life when something that has taken a huge part of your time, effort, emotions, money and years, just doesnt seem to be coming together into reality anymore!?

im a strong person, who has a lot of faith in myself and in God and in fate and karma, and all things spiritual, i believe that some factors of life are out of our control, and the remaining most, is usually in our hands. i’ve never lacked patience… yet i find myself hopeless now. and i hate that feeling!

looking at my last post, i think im coming across as a whiner!! but for those who know me in person, and they are very few.. you know im not. i just have more on my plate than ever before.. apologies to the readers (if any)! lol

Fatal..

this morbidly obese economy is experiencing a minor heart attack.. or is it a major one?

what bothers me most, besides that our jobs are at stake and everything is so uncertain. is that no one wants to tell you what’s going on honestly & clearly! either the decision makers in Dubai are in complete oblivion of what the risks and consequences are, or they just want to calm the panicked masses. either way, its not calming anyone. its only adding to the stress..

hiring is frozen, hundreds of thousands of jobs are hanging by a very thin line, loans, mortgages, cars, cards, expenses, installments, rents! it is said that when a person is in a near death situation their whole life flashes infront of their eyes.. so when a job is about to expire, all the bills of one’s life flash before them too!!

Quote of the day

Conceit is God’s gift to little men.

- Bruce Barton

and he cudnt be more true!

need for speed? NOT!

this morning, i was unfortunate to witness a terrible accident, involving a motorbike, an innocent pedestrian, & a couple of cars.. and when i say witness, i mean i SAW the WHOLE thing from start to finish.. had to wait for the ambulance and police to finish up wrapping the scene,  announcing the pedestrian (who was a poor municipality labourer cleaning the side of the road) half-dead, rushing the very injured biker to the nearest hospital, clearing up the very TINY shreds of his bike from the road, and then easing the traffic that was backed up horribly..

i cudnt care much bout the traffic, it was just so devastating to see such a waste of life, only coz the biker was speeding and lost control of his bike.. why would anyone want to speed at 630 in the morning!? there is hardly any traffic, there wont be anyone breathing down his neck for being late at work coz its all too early anyway! sigh.. what a shame really..

drive safe ppl, seriously nothing is worth risking your life or that of others..

122/185

BO

no not Body Odor!

President Obama, first black president in the white house.

will we finally see shades of gray?

3 & 4

4 words a man never wants to hear: “we need to talk”
since usually they’re followed up by 4 words he knows he will hear: “this is not working!”

3 words a woman fears to ask: “what are we”
since she will probably hear the next 3 words: “nothing but friends” (or in some scenarios “friends with benefits”)

and the funny thing is that the 4 letter word that women long for is “love” while the 3 letter word most guys look for is “sex”.. and interesting enough (or at least for me!) in arabic man is a 3 letter word, and woman is a 4 letter word!

Neutral November

neither sweet, nor bitter, a bit of both : )

الذكرى المشؤومة لوعد بلفور

sad memories of great people (4 year memorial today. may he rest in peace)

warm memories of the start of my journey with spirituality..

sweet memories of reuniting : )

bla bla bla

* i am somehow convinced that selfishness and selflessness are both really bad qualities.. i even tend to believe selflessness is worse! with selfishness, you at least get what you want, you might hurt people along the way, or lose some, but still, your goals are achieved, your possessions are ‘possessed’, and your wants and needs are actually fulfilled, besides the fact that you’re all alone coz noone will stand that attitude… but you wont even notice it! coz you’re so self centered. however, when you’re selfless, its so energy draining, and psychologically tormenting! You do everything for the good of others, involuntarily, even if you would like to say no, something inside (the inner stupid person) says yes. you end up without doing much on your personal goals, over extending yourself for others will drain you emotionally and physically, most of it will go unappreciated so you will feel frustration, mostly innate, and one day you wake up resenting youself to the max!!! and then starts the psychological torment, you start detesting yourself for being the weak person that you are.. you dont lose people or hurt them like the selfish ones do, but you lose your self love.. which is worse and harder to handle..

* why on earth do some people have to say ‘thats so funny’ instead of, erm, actually laughing at something/ incident/someone!!! it doesnt make sense announcing it without laughing! eft!

* black does NOT look good on everyone! 

* its kinda sad when you reach mid/late twenties, and you know so little about your religion..

* middle class doesnt exist IMHO, its either rich, or poor, even in the holy books, there was never a mention of middle class! and its true.. If a financial crisis hits an individual, 75% of individuals will be considered poor, or get really close to becoming poor. the remaining 25% are either very poor, or very rich to not feel the crisis.

when friends get married

my best friend of 5 years will be getting married in Jan, and moving away to her soon-to-be husband’s country of origin, as he is happy and she also loves it there, in addition to that, he has a great job where he will be providing very well for her and their future family.

we call each other everyday in the mornings, or sms to check up on one another, we used to work together for a year then i left but we still kept that ritual of early morning smss and calls, every alternating weekend of outings and catching up, and every problem shared and discussed as if we’re sisters.. and somehow, we grew to become just that.

as hard as it is for me to say goodbye, i cant be selfish and ask her to stay. its so difficult finding friends when you’re not a kid, and in such a cruel city with no genuine social contacts, it will be hard going forward.. oh well, i guess life is really a series of meetings and partings..

 

freaky friday!!

halloween is around the corner, well not quite the corner! but every year around this time i wish i can trade lives with someone else! just for a day.. a change of scenery, a diff set of fears and dreams, just living in someone else’s shoes for a day.. why cant we wear a costume and actually instantly transform into that character for that night?

if you were to trade lives for halloween, who would you chose?

i’d chose to be a fairy, or angelina jolie

fashion donts (2)

after fashion donts 1 which was aimed at girls, enter fashion donts 2! in which i shall commence to dissect the fashion crimes that some men all over the world are guilty of.

1. the worst thing a man can do by far: wear a suit without a belt, even SANTA knows better!!

it does nothing good for your look, so please never EVER go out without a belt on a suit, formal trousers or even jeans! only pairs of anything wearable that can do without a belt are shorts, capris and khakis, but a suit or jeans (whether proper formal jeans or torn out/worn out jeans) without belts are a complete murder of fashion!

2. which brings us to another suit/jeans no-no, WHITE SOCKS.

Never, and i mean NEVER, even under threat, wear white socks under a suit or jeans, even if you’re wearing sneakers, thats what gray was created for! wear only dark shades matching your suit and/or shoes color. the most tricky suit color is navy blue, if you’re not wearing a navy blue shoe since they are SO unbelievably hard to find even for women attire, wear a black shoe with black socks, and if you chose to wear dark brown shoes under a navy blue suit (which i personally find more appropriate and a lot classier than black) then you wear navy blue socks matching your suit shade or dark brown matching your shoe color.

3. suspenders, one word: why???

unless you are a) a cop b) a chick c) steve urkel (jaleel white), then suspenders should not exist in your fashion vocab!

4. formal wear in very luminous bright colors:

please view exhibit A:  and exhibit B:

unless you’re in show business or a clown, please refrain from wearin a red suit or a magenta shirt to work. it doesnt ’scream’ professionalism.

5. sequined shirts and t-shirts (need i include – GULP – pants?!): 

if its not halloween and you’re going as 1) Elvis 2) a drag queen 3) a disco ball, then DO not, for the love of God, wear anything sequined!

6. the ‘white boy’ afro:

we do not need to witness you challenging mother nature & growing your hair against gravity, especially if you’re not black at birth!! nothing more tacky than a white boy thinking he’s P Diddy, even Eminem knew better, he kept his over peroxided do as he sang black.

there’s so much more on my mind, but of course, thats what sequels are for!

ramadan is over

but the spirit hopefully will live on, i had such a magical month this year, it was the most peaceful ramadan i ever had to be honest. i felt closer to God than i ever were, and i intend to keep it that way, inshAllah.

what baffles me however, is the audacity of so many people, muslims or not, in this holy month. wherever you look you find someone drinking coffee in their car, or rolling down their tinted car windows to blow the smoke off their ciggies, ya3ni cant you wait to get home or to the office or to a freaking parking lot! people have no respect i swear! i go to other offices, or even downstairs to exit to the parking lot (coffee shops/restaurants were operating in my office building as they were in many office buildings in the city!) or to the road, and can smell coffee, smoke, and pungent smelling foods!

what bothers me the most is that the country doesnt impose its supposedly ‘Islamic’ rules on its residents! THEY should respect that its a holy month of fasting and that this is afterall an Islamic country, but rude enough, they want US to get over it coz its a diversified community! in Egypt, you DARE not be caught even chewing gum in the streets, christian or not, everyone has a certain amount of respect for the month, and the country has strict rules on open shops and coffeeshops. i wish that gets implemented here someday, coz even though i couldn’t care less who eats what before me in ramadan, its just rude and disrespectful.

bad boy syndrome

as opposed to common belief, good girls DONT always love bad boys, but MOST of them get attracted to one (at the very least) in their lifetime.

why i hear you ask?

i have noticed, after a lot of observation, that the unfortunate truth about women is that they are stupid enough to think they can change men, of course the bigger challenge is changing a bad boy! also, usually we, as humans, innately tend to defy our parents in everything we do, hence, going out with the one boy your mom will always warn you about presents itself as one of the biggest congenital habits, should you be expected to the miss goody-two-shoes by your parents and society. we are born with a passion to be unique, and being predictable is, to some, the worst thing that can happen!

i like to think that the idea of a bad boy (or girl) is exciting because of our curious nature as humans. we love to analyze one another, dissect each other’s personalities and  we love to explore, we thrive for adventure! and what better way to explore than by being in a totally different comfort zone, a bad zone! for a good girl who just wants out, a short lived relationship with the total opposite of her persona DOES sound ideal, but on the long run, i personally think they both will realize that it wont work, and if it would, they both will change and compromise, eventually.

deja vu 10

and the last one for now : )

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Redundancy..

as much as i like to think there is diversity in this world, i feel our community has become redundant to an annoying extent..

1. almost every girl looks the same, 4 major categories bi nazari, the brunette haifa wahbeh wannabes, the
blonde california-dream kinda girl, “vieled” girls with their second skin tshirts under a camisole that barely covers anything and of course the tight trews, and number 4, girls that skipped an evolution cycle.. stuck in the 80s phase…

2. almost every guy wants to be the next GM of a huge company, wont tell u they r just clerks at the moment, instead, insist that they r assistant managers in the making! almost every guy has to drive a car they cant afford, carry a cell phone which costs them half their salary on its bills, and has to have a “fly” girl by his side. ahhh the necessities of life!

3. almost everywhere u go, same issues are being discussed, same recurring topics, needless to say almost everyone wants to look like they know-it-all more than the remaining almost everyone!

4. almost every building is a frightening replica of a previous one, and almost all restaurants with a “theme” have almost the same look other restaurants under the relevant theme have!

and one wud think after a gazillion years of man being on the face of this earth, and after numerous years of technology and advance in all aspects of life, ppl wud be different and more diverse.. (creative is a word that comes to my mind also). but i wonder, is it coz u have to go with the flow to not feel isolated or stand out oddly, or is it coz its easier to be like everyone else, coz the road less taken is darker with no defenition and requires more effort and originality? humans will always fascinate me, even when they’re becoming predictable!

deja vu 9

a tale of two entities..

 

 

independent and on her own.. thought she needs not a partner, all she needed were friends.. silent when times are tough, even when her eyes can scream the words.. they found each other when they both werent looking.. it was an instant connection, love at first sight.. they never believed that would happen, yet, it so intensely did.. she had her fears.. she pushed him away.. didnt want to get too attached, for the uncertainty that lingered over their future was weighing her down.. she didnt want to hurt, but she did when she let him go.. lonely days and loneliner nights.. breathing just to pass time.. waiting for salvation..

time passed by, the days like months and months like years and years like decades.. slower than a rainy gloomy day.. until a fine november night came and their eyes met again.. by chance? or was it the work of fate? they didnt know, and they didnt care.. all they felt was alive again! their heartbeats were so loud they almost choked all words from coming out.. it was like they never were apart.. nothing changed.. except for their age.. they thought they moved on, but in truth, the world turned as they both stayed put.. kept holding on.. their love only grew stronger.. even though unspoken of..

 

they say “if you love someone set them free, if they come back they’re yours to keep”.. im praying its true

 

deja vu 8

and since 8 is my ultimate favorite number, here is one of my favorite posts! im in love with my writings, arnt i humble

______________________________________________________________________________________

 eyes. my favorite part of the human anatomy.

i absolutely adore expressive eyes that can speak a thousand words with just one look.. peircing eyes.. bold and fun.. im usually very attracted to black/brown eyes, dont enjoy gazing at colored eyes.. i’ll say its prolly coz opposites attract :-/

psychologists say that the color does have an impact on ppl, and have categorized (or generalized) the following:

Brown Eyes: cares deeply for family, affectionate with a serious nature
Light Blue Eyes: Peaceful with low physical endurance.
Hazel Eyes: Easily bored and mentally agile.
Deep Blue Eyes: spiritual, intense computer loverz!
Green Eyes: curious, intelligent, jealous.
Blue/grey Eyes: humanitarian with a peaceful nature.
Grey Eyes: analytical, clear thinking, philosiphical.

personally, i always believed that brown eyes are the most passionate and goal oriented ppl. blue eyes r emotionless and cold. but deep blue eyes are deep and captivating. green eyed folks are cheeky and fun loving ppl. and grey eyed ppl are unique and spiritual. but thats just me! but no matter what the color is, i think beautiful eyes are nothing without attitude, they wud be empty in fact!

do u think that u can have a certain judgement just by looking into someone’s eyes? do u really believe that u can tell if someone is lying or being truthful from the look in their eyes? do some eyes intimidate u?

i personally think that eyes are like seasons, i know, insane theory to categorize ppl into only 4 classifications.. but here it goes..

 

fall: mature, calm, dreamy, realistic yet hopeful, spiritual in their own way. academic and enjoy reading, have a paternal/maternal gaze. comforting and gr8 confidants. trustworhy and very loving. i associate those with somehow small brown eyes, or deep blue… (horses eyes)

 

winter: like a storm, they’re strong & powerful! these ppl demand respect, have a strong presence and a certain aura.. quiet yet very attractive.. warm and passionate. possessive. they usually are long-term bachelors, coz they need someone to move them! someone who can get them with so little effort and talk.. i imagine them bold big eyes, brown or green.. (tiger eyes) (my fave type by far)

 

summer: might come across as aloof, but they’re just timid loners. conservative. single minded and resist change. enjoy a certain routine and order to their life.. they r in full control of their emotions, and usually dont show any passion or excitement.. these ppl love their solitude and work individually more than in a group.. i associate summer eyes with light blue eyes or hazel, narrow and close set. (fox eyes)

 

spring: bright, hyper, very balanced with a time for work and a time for play. polite and respectful. enjoy nature and love sports. their eyes glow when they laff, and close a little.. friendly and welcoming. i associate them with wide blue/green eyes, grey/green eyes, or hazel/green eyes.. (dogs eyes)

 

& thanks for reading!

deja vu 7

Love and hate:

are 2 faces to the same coin. a thin line separates them.. intense emotions of dislike can turn into the most passionate love if given a chance to blossom, and the corniest of love stories can turn into the fiercest war..

 

to forgive is divine they say.. and i truly agree. for so many ppl loved and went separate ways.. yet so very few didnt hold a grudge towards the one who said goodbye.

 

it takes courage to realize that things wont work, and maturity to accept the fact, and wisdom to let it go. and thats what separates men from the boys.

deja vu 6

more of my fave old posts from the blog that i deleted… apologies to those who already read them. im just trying to keep their memory alive =D
_____________________________________________________________________________

isnt it amazing how some ppl keep their walls up even when they’re tired and want to let their ‎guard down but their inner protector stands firm to the decision it made to keep them away from self ‎inflicted pain? ‎

is it easier being in ’safe mode’ all the time? doesnt it actually take more effort to keep track of ‎what you give out or not bout yourself? doesnt hurt help us grow and evolve and shape a better ‎judgement and a more solid character? why would one wanna miss out on a great relationship and ‎connection with others that can result from sharing innermost feelings and thoughts? sometimes ‎it doesnt work out yes, but that will give you the better knowledge next time.. and when it works ‎out, you wud have gained great friends and maybe even met your true better half in the process. ‎

i think hurt teaches us valuable lessons, and usually they are about ourselves, lessons about our ‎courage, strength, emotional intelligence, our endurance, etc etc. it can either open your eyes to your ‎weaknesses, or surprise you with your innate strengths. ‎

being the social person that i am, i met a lot of ppl who are so private and emotionally secure that i ‎wonder, whats the worse that cud happen if they opened up a little? how do they live their life ‎THIS bottled up? how does it feel being in their shoes and always avoiding sharing their fears/ ‎thoughts/ feelings and prolly ending up feeling all alone in the world (and maybe even BEING all ‎alone for the rest of their time)? is it really easier than a few scars that can make them stronger ‎with time?? ‎

 

Mirror mirror on the wall,

whos the dullest of them all!!!