Archive for the ‘observations’ Category

you are what you eat

Posted: January 21, 2011 in no comment, observations, people, rant

you are what you drive. you are where you live. tell me who your friends are, i’ll tell you who you are. etc etc.

why is this constant need to analyze people by their possessions/ food intake/ company/ cars/ brands, and all other things we do/own/ people we associate with. what is the need to label and judge and dissect. why cant we take people for what they are? accept them and not over analyze? does judging other people make us feel better about ourselves? coz we’re not focusing on our own downfalls? seriously, people are both fascinating and mindboggling.

stuff that grind my gears. short venting post.

As I havent slept all night, I eventually gave in to the chronic insomnia and got up to entertain myself with a movie. Valentine’s Day, check. Prince of Persia, check. few other generic tv movies, check! this morning another tv rerun. Devil Wears Prada. and you know what, Miranda is the closest thing to my boss.

Dragon Lady. cruel ice queen. What happens to women who want to succeed? I understand it’s a man’s world, and women have to work twice as hard to prove themselves in the workplace… because God forbid this woman in charge shows her real personality which might include a touch of kindness or maybe being a little emotional towards things! God forbid people see her as a woman. She would be walked all over and crushed by her male peers. Had she been a man, being cruel and demanding, no one would notice a difference, no body would say “oh the devil!” they would only notice how good he is at his job. But a woman, being that fierce, will always be judged.

But the sad part is, these women tend to trade in their personal lives for their true dedication to their job and their adament will to succeed at their careers and moving them forward. Most men would not allow their wives to be more successful than them, or come home late in the name of duty. My boss is approaching 50, looks very young for her age actually not a day over 40, only married for 3 years when she was 42, I guess she got used to being single as it meant no commitments were there, and she would engulf herself better with the job she loves more than life itself.

I dont see why a woman can’t have it all. family, work, leisure, fun, ‘me time’? I’ve seen it happen! not so far from me actually, mom was a very successful Audit Manager, she only left work when she hit 50 or 52, yes it can get a little crazy and energy draining, but she loved it, and still managed to have it all. Juggling both personal and professional lives needs practice I reckon, and needs a person willing to make it work, if you believe it, you will be it. I know corny. But it is my honest opinion.

 

this post has been brewing in my mind for a while. so has the subject.

im an observant more than anything in life. well that, and an ‘inane chatter’ as a friend once put it. and you know what? I am not a fan of generalizing and stereotyping but I gotta say this whole heartedly after a lot of thought and observation..: all men are the same. whatever nationality/ culture/ background/ upbringing/ race/ colour/ religion, they’re all copy paste of one another. and that is NOT i repeat NOT a pretty picture to have so many copies of.

I was having a rather interesting conversation (well I am still unsure how the conversation turned in that direction, but I believe it had something to do with the number of beautiful women passing by) with a man I hold so much respect for, admire professionally, and consider a good company as we are somewhat on the same wavelength with many subjects (except today I was disappointed.. it saddens me to admit that..). the guy is a stunning man, him being handsome is a unanimous feedback amongst the girls (married or single!) that have met him -whatever their ‘type’ may be – he is also quite rich, young, bubbly, very popular, and yes, married. The dream man of all my friends, is in fact taken. Married to a wonderful woman who he had pursued for many years to agree to leave her family and marry him and move to another country, however, he loves her dearly and she knew that he would be the great husband (and father) that he is. So today I was in shock when he turned around to me after eyeing every girl who was in the vicinity and said: “Dima, how wrong is it if I cheat? I am a man, like everyone else, and every other man I know has at least 3 girls on the side”! Of course Dima was very shocked to say the least. This coming from a decent man that I respect and look up to, was the final straw. I have lost all faith in men. They’re all identical, different packaging, but nonetheless, identical.

Which brings me to my growing belief that marriage is way too over-rated.. We don’t need it!  Love is not designed to last from what I have seen so far, and Dubai is a multicultural place so these couples I have observed are of all ethnic backgrounds and beliefs. Kids are a burden in this recession infested day and age. companionship also can be bought! and for those who have no problem with physical ‘interaction’, marriage provides nothing new, and for those who are celibate, marriage is a mirage where one of you (mostly the male) will end up wanting more than just that ‘one’ person to experience more physical intimacy with, as let’s face it, humans are greedy creatures, and most will fall for that voice in their head that begs to invade new ‘territories’ since they missed out on that in their youth/single life. Why is sexual advancement experimenting through multiple partners so important? Does it make you a better man if you had more partners than your peers? Does loyalty mean nothing to anyone anymore? What about contentment?? I keep hearing that most cheaters love their kids, and most even love their wives. Would never leave them for one of their ‘mistresses’ but just feel that they HAVE to have someone on the side, maybe because society anticipates them to? or their gender is expected to??

You do NOT need to do something just because you can, or because i’ts offered and easily accessable, most cheaters get a thrill when they get away with it… they think they have become invincible. What about Karma?? Does no one fear Karma or Divine Punishment anymore?

I am in no way saying women are all angels. So no assumptions please. But the percentage of women cheaters in comparison to men, is less. It’s growing for sure, but i believe their reasons are different. I’ll leave that for another post.

(WARNING: long psychobabble post ahead, purely my theories and mumbles)

Isnt it funny how high school behaviour patterns and paradigms continue into adulthood and into the office environment? I think most people fully evolve by the age of 16 (child psychology suggests personality starts becoming consistent starting at the age of 5) I think by the time we are at the not-so-sweet 16 stage, most of us keep that personality going..

lemme break them down for you, the way I see them:

The “cool” crowd:

Usually the jocks and cheerleaders of any school. Good looking guys with no substance, no common/general knowledge, not the highest IQ, can be found on the weekend participating in beer pong and block parties, or any activity/event involving alcohol. Loads of it! Generally hanging around and hitting on cheerleaders!

Cheerleaders, usually the girl version of the jock. Stunning, small framed, never had a bad hair day in their lives, mean as hell and like the jocks, not very bright. They move in packs, dont socialize except with one another and of course the jocks.

These usually become the IQ challenged people in the office who get paid a lot just for looking good and knowing the ‘right’ people. PR/Media/Mass communication interests the majority of this segment the most.. Or of course, they could become politicians. They’re popular for no reason anyway.

The Nerds:

Not necessarily the most intelligent or valedictorian material. However, they’re introverts who stay indoors playing video games instead of partying at highschool! Poor dress sence, poor social skills, sporting glasses or braces, or both! Get picked on by the Jocks, and dreaming of getting with the cheerleaders!

They usually become that over diligent employee who almost never attends the company events and gets labeled as anti-social. Or end up the gadget masters and IT crowd.

The Skaters:

Always missing class, always high on mary js and drugs in the pill form, idolize Bob Marley, long haired, free spirites, always in sporty outfits, skateboarding/rollerblading everywhere.. the sun is always up in their skies and its always summer in their heads. Vocabulary consists of “dude” and “stoked”.

Well, you at least have one of them in the office! Dress down thursday is everyday for them, most laid back employee in the office. Loves to talk and might end up in a call center, doing outdoor sales, or pick up a job in logistics and package delivery. I like to think that musicians, DJs and radio presenters fall in this category too.

The Rocker Punks:

Intelligent, do fairly well with grades, develop a devil-may-care attitude, have a good voice and sing along to all the hardcore rock and alternative/grunge music they listen to. They usually despise the jocks and cheerleaders for their frivolity and stupidity. Usually are dressed in darker colours and form fitting clothes, and party sensibly over the weekend. They’re drawn more to artistic events and concerts.

Those are the desirable guys and girls of the office. Dark and broody. get their job done efficiently and quietly, they work best solo. can succeed in any field so no specific one suggested. However, they usualy are leaders not just managers. Also, they tend to enjoy creative thinking and brainstorming for new ideas. Could also work well as Psychologists and surgeons.

The Fly on The Wall:

The quiet kid. Not a nerd. Not emo. Not common mainstream kid. Just quiet. They keep to themselves, eat lunch alone (or with a book), they have a wild imagination as they create a whole world for themselves. Uninvited to any parties. Unnoticed in the halls. Unmissed after graduation. Its like they never existed!

I have a mixed theory for this type. They are either the ones who end up going postal! They work quietly, unnoticed and invisible. Like that quiet back office filing girl? or the office scapegoat who one day will flip and go mental, or postal. OR they end up being the silent geniuses: writers, movie producers, psychics and clairvoyants.

The Bullies:

Very self explanatory!

I see these becoming critics. Analysts. Competetive stock traders and realters.

The Wannabes:

This group wants to be one of the previous groups (except the fly on the wall, no one notices those to wanna be them!)

IMHO these end up the moles to the senior management, the ones who love office gossip, and usually start it. Hackers. Frauds. and identity thieves.

Of course these are my personal theories and thoughts, I am not generalizing, or stating them as facts. and please, share any categories you might have : )

everything else is variable..  i completely agree with that proverb.

everyone changes at some point, i believe it happens at least once every 5 years of ones life, some change occurs in preferences, taste, degree of stubbornness, some qualities mellow out, others become more intense.. even if it was a very small change, it happens, personally, some things i liked 5 years ago don’t quite matter to me now..

so when you realize that your partner/spouse is changing.. in ways you did not see/expect, what do you do? do you immediately run away? do you doubt the foundation of your relationship? does it make you evaluate your current partner’s personality as a separate one from the initial personality you knew him/her with? i guess what I’m trying to ask is: would change eventually lead to an end?

one cant always be certain of everything, however, in relationships, i reckon its more of a leap of faith! you’re not certain of how things will go, but you have almost utmost faith in your better half.. or at least that’s what the idealist in me thinks.. i believe love will conquer all.. yeah yeah i know, wishfull thinking, foolish optimist, etc etc.. but that’s what i believe.. love should be the foundation, the base, the essence. and it should be the reason for eventual acceptance, and a partner’s accomodation to those changes. also, i find talking helps, there should be clear communication between a couple to figure out what is the reason behind any change, especially if that change is dramatic. coz i dont think anyone wakes up to realize something has changed! its a process, and stages, and unless the couple communicates properly, it will go unnoticed until it hits you one day and you find yourself in a rut!

the scary part is not knowing how to take a leap of faith anymore..

as opposed to common belief, good girls DONT always love bad boys, but MOST of them get attracted to one (at the very least) in their lifetime.

why i hear you ask?

i have noticed, after a lot of observation, that the unfortunate truth about women is that they are stupid enough to think they can change men, of course the bigger challenge is changing a bad boy! also, usually we, as humans, innately tend to defy our parents in everything we do, hence, going out with the one boy your mom will always warn you about presents itself as one of the biggest congenital habits, should you be expected to the miss goody-two-shoes by your parents and society. we are born with a passion to be unique, and being predictable is, to some, the worst thing that can happen!

i like to think that the idea of a bad boy (or girl) is exciting because of our curious nature as humans. we love to analyze one another, dissect each other’s personalities and  we love to explore, we thrive for adventure! and what better way to explore than by being in a totally different comfort zone, a bad zone! for a good girl who just wants out, a short lived relationship with the total opposite of her persona DOES sound ideal, but on the long run, i personally think they both will realize that it wont work, and if it would, they both will change and compromise, eventually.

deja vu 10

Posted: August 20, 2008 in damdoumization, life, observations, people, rant, thoughts

and the last one for now : )

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Redundancy..

as much as i like to think there is diversity in this world, i feel our community has become redundant to an annoying extent..

1. almost every girl looks the same, 4 major categories bi nazari, the brunette haifa wahbeh wannabes, the
blonde california-dream kinda girl, “vieled” girls with their second skin tshirts under a camisole that barely covers anything and of course the tight trews, and number 4, girls that skipped an evolution cycle.. stuck in the 80s phase…

2. almost every guy wants to be the next GM of a huge company, wont tell u they r just clerks at the moment, instead, insist that they r assistant managers in the making! almost every guy has to drive a car they cant afford, carry a cell phone which costs them half their salary on its bills, and has to have a “fly” girl by his side. ahhh the necessities of life!

3. almost everywhere u go, same issues are being discussed, same recurring topics, needless to say almost everyone wants to look like they know-it-all more than the remaining almost everyone!

4. almost every building is a frightening replica of a previous one, and almost all restaurants with a “theme” have almost the same look other restaurants under the relevant theme have!

and one wud think after a gazillion years of man being on the face of this earth, and after numerous years of technology and advance in all aspects of life, ppl wud be different and more diverse.. (creative is a word that comes to my mind also). but i wonder, is it coz u have to go with the flow to not feel isolated or stand out oddly, or is it coz its easier to be like everyone else, coz the road less taken is darker with no defenition and requires more effort and originality? humans will always fascinate me, even when they’re becoming predictable!