Archive for the ‘people’ Category

you are what you eat

Posted: January 21, 2011 in no comment, observations, people, rant

you are what you drive. you are where you live. tell me who your friends are, i’ll tell you who you are. etc etc.

why is this constant need to analyze people by their possessions/ food intake/ company/ cars/ brands, and all other things we do/own/ people we associate with. what is the need to label and judge and dissect. why cant we take people for what they are? accept them and not over analyze? does judging other people make us feel better about ourselves? coz we’re not focusing on our own downfalls? seriously, people are both fascinating and mindboggling.

stuff that grind my gears. short venting post.

(WARNING: long psychobabble post ahead, purely my theories and mumbles)

Isnt it funny how high school behaviour patterns and paradigms continue into adulthood and into the office environment? I think most people fully evolve by the age of 16 (child psychology suggests personality starts becoming consistent starting at the age of 5) I think by the time we are at the not-so-sweet 16 stage, most of us keep that personality going..

lemme break them down for you, the way I see them:

The “cool” crowd:

Usually the jocks and cheerleaders of any school. Good looking guys with no substance, no common/general knowledge, not the highest IQ, can be found on the weekend participating in beer pong and block parties, or any activity/event involving alcohol. Loads of it! Generally hanging around and hitting on cheerleaders!

Cheerleaders, usually the girl version of the jock. Stunning, small framed, never had a bad hair day in their lives, mean as hell and like the jocks, not very bright. They move in packs, dont socialize except with one another and of course the jocks.

These usually become the IQ challenged people in the office who get paid a lot just for looking good and knowing the ‘right’ people. PR/Media/Mass communication interests the majority of this segment the most.. Or of course, they could become politicians. They’re popular for no reason anyway.

The Nerds:

Not necessarily the most intelligent or valedictorian material. However, they’re introverts who stay indoors playing video games instead of partying at highschool! Poor dress sence, poor social skills, sporting glasses or braces, or both! Get picked on by the Jocks, and dreaming of getting with the cheerleaders!

They usually become that over diligent employee who almost never attends the company events and gets labeled as anti-social. Or end up the gadget masters and IT crowd.

The Skaters:

Always missing class, always high on mary js and drugs in the pill form, idolize Bob Marley, long haired, free spirites, always in sporty outfits, skateboarding/rollerblading everywhere.. the sun is always up in their skies and its always summer in their heads. Vocabulary consists of “dude” and “stoked”.

Well, you at least have one of them in the office! Dress down thursday is everyday for them, most laid back employee in the office. Loves to talk and might end up in a call center, doing outdoor sales, or pick up a job in logistics and package delivery. I like to think that musicians, DJs and radio presenters fall in this category too.

The Rocker Punks:

Intelligent, do fairly well with grades, develop a devil-may-care attitude, have a good voice and sing along to all the hardcore rock and alternative/grunge music they listen to. They usually despise the jocks and cheerleaders for their frivolity and stupidity. Usually are dressed in darker colours and form fitting clothes, and party sensibly over the weekend. They’re drawn more to artistic events and concerts.

Those are the desirable guys and girls of the office. Dark and broody. get their job done efficiently and quietly, they work best solo. can succeed in any field so no specific one suggested. However, they usualy are leaders not just managers. Also, they tend to enjoy creative thinking and brainstorming for new ideas. Could also work well as Psychologists and surgeons.

The Fly on The Wall:

The quiet kid. Not a nerd. Not emo. Not common mainstream kid. Just quiet. They keep to themselves, eat lunch alone (or with a book), they have a wild imagination as they create a whole world for themselves. Uninvited to any parties. Unnoticed in the halls. Unmissed after graduation. Its like they never existed!

I have a mixed theory for this type. They are either the ones who end up going postal! They work quietly, unnoticed and invisible. Like that quiet back office filing girl? or the office scapegoat who one day will flip and go mental, or postal. OR they end up being the silent geniuses: writers, movie producers, psychics and clairvoyants.

The Bullies:

Very self explanatory!

I see these becoming critics. Analysts. Competetive stock traders and realters.

The Wannabes:

This group wants to be one of the previous groups (except the fly on the wall, no one notices those to wanna be them!)

IMHO these end up the moles to the senior management, the ones who love office gossip, and usually start it. Hackers. Frauds. and identity thieves.

Of course these are my personal theories and thoughts, I am not generalizing, or stating them as facts. and please, share any categories you might have : )

Wiki defines a love hate relationship as follows:

A love-hate relationship is a personal relationship involving simultaneous or alternating emotions of love and enmity. This relationship does not have to be of a romantic nature, and may be instead of a sibling one. It may occur when people have completely lost the intimacy within a loving relationship, yet still retain some passion for, or perhaps some commitment to, each other.

Doesnt that describe most marriages?

Now on a serious note, I wonder, do we actually need a little bit of hate to enhance the love? just as darkness is essential to appreciate light? is too much love just not healthy?

 

This January was one big wedgie!

I swear my life is one crazy rollercoaster and a series of dramatic events that I do not know how and why I keep coming across. But no complaints, I guess no one can do my life but me. and I believe that God knows my capacity, and wont give me more than I can handle.

My best friend who only got married a little more than a year back, and now is a proud mother of a 2 month old beautiful girl, is getting a divorce. That has been very emotionally draining for her and even me, I love her to bits and I cant believe what a scum bag her husband is. He simply ruined her life, taking her out of her well paying, decent and very  comfortable job, out of her loving family’s house, to take her to another country where she found out half way through her pregnancy that he is already married (3urfi) to someone 9 years older than him, and has a baby girl from her as well!  Urgh. I feel so frustrated for her. Seriously, she must be the most innocent person I ever met. I think its because she is so innocent, she couldnt see the signs of deceipt. Or he was too good of an actor… I am just happy that she is strong about it, she will stand up for herself and walk away, while most women in our part of the world will stay in a crappy marriage fearing the label of a ‘divorced woman’ and fearing the financial burdens, or just fearing loneliness..

Back to me, my new boss is a lovely woman, amazing at what she does, very knowledgeable and hands on with her job and that is refreshing in comparison with my previous boss.. however! yes you knew that was a ‘but’ moment there.. she wants to relocate the whole regional team in its intirety (63 staff who have lives and families in Dubai) to Egypt to make her life easier! Not to mention cut cost on Dubai’s budget.. Oh, well. Let’s see how that goes. I am hopeful. : )

So many has happened in January, many I will not mention or go over briefly not even in a notion. But it was a month of stress, tough decisions, friendships made and some lost. But most of all, my belief in that tough times are the best teachers, mostly we learn of our own strength, has become an even deeper belief.

January. Glad its over!

Q..

Posted: September 15, 2009 in i wanna know, life, people, relationships, thoughts

this is a question for both genders.

for the sake of the  most effective birth control possible, would you get ‘clipped’ if you’re a man? or ‘tie your tubes’ if you’re a woman? Also, for the men out there, would you let your wives ‘tie her tubes’ in the future knowing that it is a big deal, a full on surgery with anesthesia and risks while getting clipped is a) reversable, and b) less risky and can be done in minutes?

random Q,  which was somehoe inspired after watching some sitcom a while back. it got me thinking, would the average arab male consider these options to begin with? and will the average arab woman be open for such a drastic measure to the ways of nature? But i guess with the side effects of the pill, and the very low percentage of men who would use ‘protection’ after they get married, one may want to think of other options.

no its not a quiz post.

i tend to see the word as ‘judge’ & ‘mental’ to tell you the truth! i dont think i was ever that judgemental, except when i was younger maybe, i had my few moments. however, the longer my journey goes is in this life, the more relaxed and laid back i have become, and the less judgemental i ended up. almost reaching zero judgementalitis (yes, in the infection form).

I am not sure how we become judgemental to be honest, but i always thought it was an environmentally acquired trait. if one is raised in a stereotyping community, one might get more accustomed to the idea of labeling others.. of course there are exceptions, who wouldn’t get affected by the people around them, rather build their own persona and own method of thought. I am not sure if it has to do with how religious we are either, but an old discussion with an ex colleague and a forever best friend brought it up, she believes that if one has faith in God being the ultimate judge of our actions and behavior, then one will never override God’s ‘authority’. Maybe some form of judgement is ok to have? to help in self valuation and self advancement? I dont know.

The judgement that i do not approve of however is the mechanism that we use to create and perpetuate separation, segregation, negativity and limitation for ourselves and from others. and sometimes. make ourselves appear better in our own eyes than others,  you know, putting others down to bring yourself up. which makes the second way of becoming judgemental in my books; good old fashioned low self esteem and total laziness to improve oneself, so one choses the easy way out!

After a lot of thought, i have concluded that understanding the following is the easiest and fastest way people can become less judgemental:

  1. understanding that REAL confidence, is purely self created!
  2. understanding that you are in no way superior to anyone for any reason.
  3. understanding that making a negative judgement about another person is always a reflection of who you are, not of who they are.

the end! 😀

randomness

Posted: February 17, 2009 in people, thoughts

* hypocrites must be, in addition to liars, my most loathed category of society. i dont understand how can one think something, and do another. or be nice to someone in the face, and then take their chance at bashing/offending them behind their backs, in the case im referring to, it was deliberate, & right infront of me, but in a concealed manner.. as in, using an Alias!  you know yourself. and i dont know how you even began to think i would be so oblivious. im no idiot.

* actually yeah, thats all i wanned to blurt out today!

everything else is variable..  i completely agree with that proverb.

everyone changes at some point, i believe it happens at least once every 5 years of ones life, some change occurs in preferences, taste, degree of stubbornness, some qualities mellow out, others become more intense.. even if it was a very small change, it happens, personally, some things i liked 5 years ago don’t quite matter to me now..

so when you realize that your partner/spouse is changing.. in ways you did not see/expect, what do you do? do you immediately run away? do you doubt the foundation of your relationship? does it make you evaluate your current partner’s personality as a separate one from the initial personality you knew him/her with? i guess what I’m trying to ask is: would change eventually lead to an end?

one cant always be certain of everything, however, in relationships, i reckon its more of a leap of faith! you’re not certain of how things will go, but you have almost utmost faith in your better half.. or at least that’s what the idealist in me thinks.. i believe love will conquer all.. yeah yeah i know, wishfull thinking, foolish optimist, etc etc.. but that’s what i believe.. love should be the foundation, the base, the essence. and it should be the reason for eventual acceptance, and a partner’s accomodation to those changes. also, i find talking helps, there should be clear communication between a couple to figure out what is the reason behind any change, especially if that change is dramatic. coz i dont think anyone wakes up to realize something has changed! its a process, and stages, and unless the couple communicates properly, it will go unnoticed until it hits you one day and you find yourself in a rut!

the scary part is not knowing how to take a leap of faith anymore..

Fatal..

Posted: November 19, 2008 in life, ma7alli, news, people, thoughts

this morbidly obese economy is experiencing a minor heart attack.. or is it a major one?

what bothers me most, besides that our jobs are at stake and everything is so uncertain. is that no one wants to tell you what’s going on honestly & clearly! either the decision makers in Dubai are in complete oblivion of what the risks and consequences are, or they just want to calm the panicked masses. either way, its not calming anyone. its only adding to the stress..

hiring is frozen, hundreds of thousands of jobs are hanging by a very thin line, loans, mortgages, cars, cards, expenses, installments, rents! it is said that when a person is in a near death situation their whole life flashes infront of their eyes.. so when a job is about to expire, all the bills of one’s life flash before them too!!

3 & 4

Posted: November 3, 2008 in damdoumization, people, random, relationships, thoughts

4 words a man never wants to hear: “we need to talk”
since usually they’re followed up by 4 words he knows he will hear: “this is not working!”

3 words a woman fears to ask: “what are we”
since she will probably hear the next 3 words: “nothing but friends” (or in some scenarios “friends with benefits”)

and the funny thing is that the 4 letter word that women long for is “love” while the 3 letter word most guys look for is “sex”.. and interesting enough (or at least for me!) in arabic man is a 3 letter word, and woman is a 4 letter word!

as opposed to common belief, good girls DONT always love bad boys, but MOST of them get attracted to one (at the very least) in their lifetime.

why i hear you ask?

i have noticed, after a lot of observation, that the unfortunate truth about women is that they are stupid enough to think they can change men, of course the bigger challenge is changing a bad boy! also, usually we, as humans, innately tend to defy our parents in everything we do, hence, going out with the one boy your mom will always warn you about presents itself as one of the biggest congenital habits, should you be expected to the miss goody-two-shoes by your parents and society. we are born with a passion to be unique, and being predictable is, to some, the worst thing that can happen!

i like to think that the idea of a bad boy (or girl) is exciting because of our curious nature as humans. we love to analyze one another, dissect each other’s personalities and  we love to explore, we thrive for adventure! and what better way to explore than by being in a totally different comfort zone, a bad zone! for a good girl who just wants out, a short lived relationship with the total opposite of her persona DOES sound ideal, but on the long run, i personally think they both will realize that it wont work, and if it would, they both will change and compromise, eventually.

deja vu 10

Posted: August 20, 2008 in damdoumization, life, observations, people, rant, thoughts

and the last one for now : )

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Redundancy..

as much as i like to think there is diversity in this world, i feel our community has become redundant to an annoying extent..

1. almost every girl looks the same, 4 major categories bi nazari, the brunette haifa wahbeh wannabes, the
blonde california-dream kinda girl, “vieled” girls with their second skin tshirts under a camisole that barely covers anything and of course the tight trews, and number 4, girls that skipped an evolution cycle.. stuck in the 80s phase…

2. almost every guy wants to be the next GM of a huge company, wont tell u they r just clerks at the moment, instead, insist that they r assistant managers in the making! almost every guy has to drive a car they cant afford, carry a cell phone which costs them half their salary on its bills, and has to have a “fly” girl by his side. ahhh the necessities of life!

3. almost everywhere u go, same issues are being discussed, same recurring topics, needless to say almost everyone wants to look like they know-it-all more than the remaining almost everyone!

4. almost every building is a frightening replica of a previous one, and almost all restaurants with a “theme” have almost the same look other restaurants under the relevant theme have!

and one wud think after a gazillion years of man being on the face of this earth, and after numerous years of technology and advance in all aspects of life, ppl wud be different and more diverse.. (creative is a word that comes to my mind also). but i wonder, is it coz u have to go with the flow to not feel isolated or stand out oddly, or is it coz its easier to be like everyone else, coz the road less taken is darker with no defenition and requires more effort and originality? humans will always fascinate me, even when they’re becoming predictable!

* life is hard, man! we watch too many movies and listen to too many songs and read too many books to convince ourselves that happy endings and fairytales are possible, but in reality, life is fairly hard! things dont happen like we want them to, or expect them to, or even as they’re supposed to after a series of events and pursuances! there is always a way things can be messed up, and it usually DOES happen. i am not being pessemistic here, but i guess i have had enough time being the optimistic fool that i am…

* i truly believe every human has one form or another of a psychological illness/abnormality/disorder.  also i always believed that people are schizophrenic by nature. since we have a ‘heart’ and a ‘mind’ and usually they’re on different frequencies.. unless one of them is more dominant than the other, EVERYONE has at least a pair of disorders!

* its amazing how people come into our lives and bring a little of their karma with them.. im sure u have met at least one person who brought you a bit of good luck in a moment in time, i believe like attracts like, and people are contageous.. if your disposition is happy, it will rub off on the people in your small and even big circle.. if your mood is often blue and negative you will somehow pass it on to the people around you.. whether you want to or not.. people are but bottles of colors! you bring your blue and the person next to you brings their red, and you both will end up with a little bit of purple..

* for every action there is indeed a reaction..! the intensity of it however depends on how deep the psychological disorders of the person are!

some people

Posted: July 10, 2008 in life, observations, people

are just like pythons. even worse, they can talk!

seriously i have known a lot of people in my short life, but there is one particular person i came across, who has exceeded all levels of evilness with her venomous character.. and its amazing that she actually has a number of ‘friends’, even a husband! im presuming that her toxicity is contageous! funny thing is (and note that funny can describe a foul smelling object) she doesnt know it! I mean some people are aware of their lack of IQ, some are aware of their abilities – or lack thereof – of selling and marketing, but this malevolence seems to be like BO! everyone around can ‘sense’ it, yet the person in question doesnt even know they ‘reek’..!

i feel so sad for such personas, as i am (sadly) sure the world is full of them, its pathetic what damage they’re capable of, and how much they enjoy gossiping and the endless games of make belief they play, its worse that they actually affect others negatively.. i.e. convert them to one of their species, or hurt them with their forked tongue and evil souls…

been meaning to write this for a while since i get to see so many people every day, most of them at my office building are so elegant and very polished, but there are a few misses.. and when i go out, i see the ultimate fashion crimes everywhere! i dont understand is it me who thinks that these things are a fashion faux pas or are people really clueless or do they simply not care what others think of what they’re wearing? i donno, i think everyone should at LEAST be color coordinated and neat. anyway.. Here goes my list of donts:

1. oversized clothes: why??? why do u wanna wear jeans 3 sizes larger and have it land on your lap thinking you’re the new homie in the fereej! or wear a super XXXlarge shirt when you’re a size 10 petite girl? you really dont HAVE to wear second skin, but something fitting not something that can fit your whole neighbourhood!

2. The couple-of-sizes-tighter-jeans: as opposed to point 1 but still talking bout wrong fits, why cant people familiarize themselves with their REAL size? we do not need to see your love handles escaping your jeans looking like a muffin top coz you still think you can fit into size 8 jeans! you dont, live with it!

3. The Mommy Jeans: bleh! the most stuck-in-the-80s, unflattering look ever for such a gorgeous material! if you’re a mom, and have your kangaroo pouch, invest in a boot leg cut jeans, they will give you height, and if they are dark in color, they will make you look thinner, as opposed to the Mommy Jeans that will only grab attention at the belly area and even if you dint have one, it will create it with all the creases. (couldnt find a picture for the mom jeans, but you know them! waist up to the neck, million creases in the front, and tapered down to the ankles! eww!)

4. tye dye.. i personally love them, but only when they are one color in different shades blended nicely, or at most 2 colors that really go well together. the look of a rainbow throwing up on you isnt funky..

5. revealing shoes on ugly toes: please PLEASE spare the world the horrific sight and invest in mules or something! ugly toes are such a turn off yuk! if you have it flaunt it, thats the saying, if you dont, please itteb3o maqoulet il rasoul: itha buletum fa istatirou! and definetly no pics! eww!

6. caked makeup at 10 AM: less is more really. especially with makeup. i see little 16 year old having 10 kgs of makeup in the mall. IT DOES NOT COMPLIMENT YOUR FEATURES! the marilyn manson look is a complete no-no people! makeup should highlight your best features, or hide any blemishes or breakouts or excess freckles or anything you find unappealing and would like to hide it softly. i just wish people would use it wisely! (zhe2et ma bidi 7o6 pic!)

7. VPL and VBS: yes, visible panty lines and visible bra straps. need i say more? (no pics!)

Q 3

Posted: April 14, 2008 in i wanna know, people, random, thoughts

financial status, position, social background and nationality… how important are these factors to when chosing and making friends? (whether in school, uni, or work)

oldies #4

Posted: April 2, 2008 in life, observations, people, rant, relationships

Sorry seems to be the hardest word.. not!

 

i think sorry isnt the hardest word to say these days.. i believe “will u marry me” r the hardest words nowadays!!

has it become so hard for men to propose? i mean ok dowry is on the rise, and inflation is a nightmare etc etc of all the materialistic issues.. but im talking love, wanting to spend ur life with someone, the need for stability, wanting a family, craving someone to take care of u and vice versa.. have men and women become so independant that they have have lost the need or want to be married? has it become so common to be in relationships that go nowhere with a sole purpose of hanging out and having fun and passing time that ppl lost the need to be in wedlock? has responsibility towards a family become so unbearable? i really dont get it.. i c girls who r beautiful, intelligent, worldly, decent, and still single after 35. and i come across men who r the perfect examples of the “perfect” men, yet rnt and dowanna get married, what is so scary?

isnt it funny how when ur a 5 year old, anyone who’s ready to jump with you on a bed or build sand castles with you is automatically considered a friend, and if you were to share a sandwich they will be considered a best friend! but when you’re 25 or over it becomes so much harder to call almost anyone a friend??

is it the lack of quality people in this day and age? or is it losing the will (which sometimes comes with age) to socialize/give chances/get to know more people to filter and classify a good friend?

i always hear ppl questioning whether or not gayness is acquired or is it embedded in ppl. its deffenitely not a gene. and i dont believe one is born with the tendency, we r straight by nature ppl!

الضمير المستتر

Posted: February 11, 2008 in people, psychobabble, thoughts

Conscience is an ability or sense that distinguishes whether our actions r right or wrong. It is also the attitude which informs our moral judgment before performing any action.

Freud regarded conscience as originating in the superego, which takes its cue from our parents during childhood. According to Freud, the consequence of not obeying our conscience is “guilt” which can be a factor in the development of neurosis. Your conscience is a societal construction which keeps you operating under the social ideology through the negative-feedback system of guilt…. and im sure freud dint mean ‘it takes its cue from our parents during childhood’ as a default state.. since immoral ppl can raise very ethical children and vice versa..

conscience and guilt r almost always inseperable; when spoken of one u mention the other involuntarely.. and even tho both are intangible, somehow unmeasurable feelings/sensations, yet conscience is the most difficult to maintain, and guilt is the most haunting..

The human animal has a set of instincts and drives which enable him to form/interact in societies.. groups of humans without these drives, or in whom they r insufficiently strong, cannot form cohesive societies and do not reproduce their kind as successfully as those that do. They either cannot survive in nature, or r defeated in conflict with other, more cohesive groups.

i like to think the conflict is rather within!