Archive for the ‘theories’ Category

this post has been brewing in my mind for a while. so has the subject.

im an observant more than anything in life. well that, and an ‘inane chatter’ as a friend once put it. and you know what? I am not a fan of generalizing and stereotyping but I gotta say this whole heartedly after a lot of thought and observation..: all men are the same. whatever nationality/ culture/ background/ upbringing/ race/ colour/ religion, they’re all copy paste of one another. and that is NOT i repeat NOT a pretty picture to have so many copies of.

I was having a rather interesting conversation (well I am still unsure how the conversation turned in that direction, but I believe it had something to do with the number of beautiful women passing by) with a man I hold so much respect for, admire professionally, and consider a good company as we are somewhat on the same wavelength with many subjects (except today I was disappointed.. it saddens me to admit that..). the guy is a stunning man, him being handsome is a unanimous feedback amongst the girls (married or single!) that have met him -whatever their ‘type’ may be – he is also quite rich, young, bubbly, very popular, and yes, married. The dream man of all my friends, is in fact taken. Married to a wonderful woman who he had pursued for many years to agree to leave her family and marry him and move to another country, however, he loves her dearly and she knew that he would be the great husband (and father) that he is. So today I was in shock when he turned around to me after eyeing every girl who was in the vicinity and said: “Dima, how wrong is it if I cheat? I am a man, like everyone else, and every other man I know has at least 3 girls on the side”! Of course Dima was very shocked to say the least. This coming from a decent man that I respect and look up to, was the final straw. I have lost all faith in men. They’re all identical, different packaging, but nonetheless, identical.

Which brings me to my growing belief that marriage is way too over-rated.. We don’t need it!  Love is not designed to last from what I have seen so far, and Dubai is a multicultural place so these couples I have observed are of all ethnic backgrounds and beliefs. Kids are a burden in this recession infested day and age. companionship also can be bought! and for those who have no problem with physical ‘interaction’, marriage provides nothing new, and for those who are celibate, marriage is a mirage where one of you (mostly the male) will end up wanting more than just that ‘one’ person to experience more physical intimacy with, as let’s face it, humans are greedy creatures, and most will fall for that voice in their head that begs to invade new ‘territories’ since they missed out on that in their youth/single life. Why is sexual advancement experimenting through multiple partners so important? Does it make you a better man if you had more partners than your peers? Does loyalty mean nothing to anyone anymore? What about contentment?? I keep hearing that most cheaters love their kids, and most even love their wives. Would never leave them for one of their ‘mistresses’ but just feel that they HAVE to have someone on the side, maybe because society anticipates them to? or their gender is expected to??

You do NOT need to do something just because you can, or because i’ts offered and easily accessable, most cheaters get a thrill when they get away with it… they think they have become invincible. What about Karma?? Does no one fear Karma or Divine Punishment anymore?

I am in no way saying women are all angels. So no assumptions please. But the percentage of women cheaters in comparison to men, is less. It’s growing for sure, but i believe their reasons are different. I’ll leave that for another post.

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(WARNING: long psychobabble post ahead, purely my theories and mumbles)

Isnt it funny how high school behaviour patterns and paradigms continue into adulthood and into the office environment? I think most people fully evolve by the age of 16 (child psychology suggests personality starts becoming consistent starting at the age of 5) I think by the time we are at the not-so-sweet 16 stage, most of us keep that personality going..

lemme break them down for you, the way I see them:

The “cool” crowd:

Usually the jocks and cheerleaders of any school. Good looking guys with no substance, no common/general knowledge, not the highest IQ, can be found on the weekend participating in beer pong and block parties, or any activity/event involving alcohol. Loads of it! Generally hanging around and hitting on cheerleaders!

Cheerleaders, usually the girl version of the jock. Stunning, small framed, never had a bad hair day in their lives, mean as hell and like the jocks, not very bright. They move in packs, dont socialize except with one another and of course the jocks.

These usually become the IQ challenged people in the office who get paid a lot just for looking good and knowing the ‘right’ people. PR/Media/Mass communication interests the majority of this segment the most.. Or of course, they could become politicians. They’re popular for no reason anyway.

The Nerds:

Not necessarily the most intelligent or valedictorian material. However, they’re introverts who stay indoors playing video games instead of partying at highschool! Poor dress sence, poor social skills, sporting glasses or braces, or both! Get picked on by the Jocks, and dreaming of getting with the cheerleaders!

They usually become that over diligent employee who almost never attends the company events and gets labeled as anti-social. Or end up the gadget masters and IT crowd.

The Skaters:

Always missing class, always high on mary js and drugs in the pill form, idolize Bob Marley, long haired, free spirites, always in sporty outfits, skateboarding/rollerblading everywhere.. the sun is always up in their skies and its always summer in their heads. Vocabulary consists of “dude” and “stoked”.

Well, you at least have one of them in the office! Dress down thursday is everyday for them, most laid back employee in the office. Loves to talk and might end up in a call center, doing outdoor sales, or pick up a job in logistics and package delivery. I like to think that musicians, DJs and radio presenters fall in this category too.

The Rocker Punks:

Intelligent, do fairly well with grades, develop a devil-may-care attitude, have a good voice and sing along to all the hardcore rock and alternative/grunge music they listen to. They usually despise the jocks and cheerleaders for their frivolity and stupidity. Usually are dressed in darker colours and form fitting clothes, and party sensibly over the weekend. They’re drawn more to artistic events and concerts.

Those are the desirable guys and girls of the office. Dark and broody. get their job done efficiently and quietly, they work best solo. can succeed in any field so no specific one suggested. However, they usualy are leaders not just managers. Also, they tend to enjoy creative thinking and brainstorming for new ideas. Could also work well as Psychologists and surgeons.

The Fly on The Wall:

The quiet kid. Not a nerd. Not emo. Not common mainstream kid. Just quiet. They keep to themselves, eat lunch alone (or with a book), they have a wild imagination as they create a whole world for themselves. Uninvited to any parties. Unnoticed in the halls. Unmissed after graduation. Its like they never existed!

I have a mixed theory for this type. They are either the ones who end up going postal! They work quietly, unnoticed and invisible. Like that quiet back office filing girl? or the office scapegoat who one day will flip and go mental, or postal. OR they end up being the silent geniuses: writers, movie producers, psychics and clairvoyants.

The Bullies:

Very self explanatory!

I see these becoming critics. Analysts. Competetive stock traders and realters.

The Wannabes:

This group wants to be one of the previous groups (except the fly on the wall, no one notices those to wanna be them!)

IMHO these end up the moles to the senior management, the ones who love office gossip, and usually start it. Hackers. Frauds. and identity thieves.

Of course these are my personal theories and thoughts, I am not generalizing, or stating them as facts. and please, share any categories you might have : )

Wiki defines a love hate relationship as follows:

A love-hate relationship is a personal relationship involving simultaneous or alternating emotions of love and enmity. This relationship does not have to be of a romantic nature, and may be instead of a sibling one. It may occur when people have completely lost the intimacy within a loving relationship, yet still retain some passion for, or perhaps some commitment to, each other.

Doesnt that describe most marriages?

Now on a serious note, I wonder, do we actually need a little bit of hate to enhance the love? just as darkness is essential to appreciate light? is too much love just not healthy?

 

no its not a quiz post.

i tend to see the word as ‘judge’ & ‘mental’ to tell you the truth! i dont think i was ever that judgemental, except when i was younger maybe, i had my few moments. however, the longer my journey goes is in this life, the more relaxed and laid back i have become, and the less judgemental i ended up. almost reaching zero judgementalitis (yes, in the infection form).

I am not sure how we become judgemental to be honest, but i always thought it was an environmentally acquired trait. if one is raised in a stereotyping community, one might get more accustomed to the idea of labeling others.. of course there are exceptions, who wouldn’t get affected by the people around them, rather build their own persona and own method of thought. I am not sure if it has to do with how religious we are either, but an old discussion with an ex colleague and a forever best friend brought it up, she believes that if one has faith in God being the ultimate judge of our actions and behavior, then one will never override God’s ‘authority’. Maybe some form of judgement is ok to have? to help in self valuation and self advancement? I dont know.

The judgement that i do not approve of however is the mechanism that we use to create and perpetuate separation, segregation, negativity and limitation for ourselves and from others. and sometimes. make ourselves appear better in our own eyes than others,  you know, putting others down to bring yourself up. which makes the second way of becoming judgemental in my books; good old fashioned low self esteem and total laziness to improve oneself, so one choses the easy way out!

After a lot of thought, i have concluded that understanding the following is the easiest and fastest way people can become less judgemental:

  1. understanding that REAL confidence, is purely self created!
  2. understanding that you are in no way superior to anyone for any reason.
  3. understanding that making a negative judgement about another person is always a reflection of who you are, not of who they are.

the end! 😀

the psychology of deception is an interesting study, especially that of self-deception..

mask

deception by general defenition is the act of convincing another to believe information that is not true, or not the whole truth. (brought to you by Wiki).  (personally i believe hiding facts is just as horrible and hurtful as lying). Self-deception  is the process or act of misleading ourselves to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid, self-deception in short is the way we justify false beliefs to ourselves!

Psychologists usually focus on unconscious motivations and intentions when discussing self-deception, they also usually consider it as a bad thing, although its sometimes used as a self guarding mechanism one uses to avoid getting hurt/broken/shocked. we do it all the time. yes we do. i might even exaggerate and claim its an instinctive act at times! but dont quote me on it : D

In relationships, self-deception sometimes helps couples see the best in each other, to a certain extent, relationships could not survive without some level of self-deception, but too much optimism or denial, can be just as costly. The trick is to engage in self-deception in order to see the best in a partner without letting self-deception create too much vulnerability.  In relationships, it can create more harm than good when it limits people from seeing important warning signs, or it leads people to overlook serious problems, or it causes people to put the best spin on everything that happens.  & frankly thats why i personally dont believe in traditional marriages. as everyone wears a mask and partners use self deception to make the suiter look better in their eyes in order to make it happen and rid themselves of society’s pressures. (which in my very humble opinion, is no valid reason to get married!).

 is there a point of this post? not really, just some psychobabble.  every day life brings thoughts and the psychologist in me keeps analyzing people non-stop!

and since 8 is my ultimate favorite number, here is one of my favorite posts! im in love with my writings, arnt i humble 😀

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 eyes. my favorite part of the human anatomy.

i absolutely adore expressive eyes that can speak a thousand words with just one look.. peircing eyes.. bold and fun.. im usually very attracted to black/brown eyes, dont enjoy gazing at colored eyes.. i’ll say its prolly coz opposites attract :-/


psychologists say that the color does have an impact on ppl, and have categorized (or generalized) the following:

Brown Eyes: cares deeply for family, affectionate with a serious nature
Light Blue Eyes: Peaceful with low physical endurance.
Hazel Eyes: Easily bored and mentally agile.
Deep Blue Eyes: spiritual, intense computer loverz!
Green Eyes: curious, intelligent, jealous.
Blue/grey Eyes: humanitarian with a peaceful nature.
Grey Eyes: analytical, clear thinking, philosiphical.

personally, i always believed that brown eyes are the most passionate and goal oriented ppl. blue eyes r emotionless and cold. but deep blue eyes are deep and captivating. green eyed folks are cheeky and fun loving ppl. and grey eyed ppl are unique and spiritual. but thats just me! but no matter what the color is, i think beautiful eyes are nothing without attitude, they wud be empty in fact!


do u think that u can have a certain judgement just by looking into someone’s eyes? do u really believe that u can tell if someone is lying or being truthful from the look in their eyes? do some eyes intimidate u?

i personally think that eyes are like seasons, i know, insane theory to categorize ppl into only 4 classifications.. but here it goes..

 

fall: mature, calm, dreamy, realistic yet hopeful, spiritual in their own way. academic and enjoy reading, have a paternal/maternal gaze. comforting and gr8 confidants. trustworhy and very loving. i associate those with somehow small brown eyes, or deep blue… (horses eyes)

 

winter: like a storm, they’re strong & powerful! these ppl demand respect, have a strong presence and a certain aura.. quiet yet very attractive.. warm and passionate. possessive. they usually are long-term bachelors, coz they need someone to move them! someone who can get them with so little effort and talk.. i imagine them bold big eyes, brown or green.. (tiger eyes) (my fave type by far)

 

summer: might come across as aloof, but they’re just timid loners. conservative. single minded and resist change. enjoy a certain routine and order to their life.. they r in full control of their emotions, and usually dont show any passion or excitement.. these ppl love their solitude and work individually more than in a group.. i associate summer eyes with light blue eyes or hazel, narrow and close set. (fox eyes)

 

spring: bright, hyper, very balanced with a time for work and a time for play. polite and respectful. enjoy nature and love sports. their eyes glow when they laff, and close a little.. friendly and welcoming. i associate them with wide blue/green eyes, grey/green eyes, or hazel/green eyes.. (dogs eyes)

 

& thanks for reading!

since i have so much time on hand (not!!!) and my mind tends to wander every so often, i decided to end the debate on the gender of computers (who was debating?!) lol anywayyyyy here is my theory 😀


1. no one really knows EXACTLY what goes on in there but its creator
2. its attention span is limited and tends to ‘sleep’ if not spoken to every 10 minutes

3. shud u come across a problem, solving it takes forever and requires a whole lot of key punching and typing and trial and errors until u finally get there, and no 2 problems r solved in the same manner!
4. should u take one home to keep, u will prolly spend half of ur income on toys and gadgets and accessories for the continuance of its efficiency!
5. when u finally get ”hitched” to one, u discover a few months later that if u waited a bit, a way better one wud have come along!!