Archive for the ‘sad me’ Category

You know what, Hollywood has been playing with our heads for so long, most of us are delusional with the idea of the ‘perfect love story’, ‘true love’, ‘soulmates’.. I admit i was delusional too..

Love isnt seamless and easy and sweet all the time, movies dont show what happens next after the big proposal, or the big gestures, or the loving kisses and cuddles. the ‘happy ever afters’ dont quite exist. Instead, cheating, deceiving, lying, and heartache happen in the long run/ in the real world. People meet and part. I have realized – the hard way – that everything in life is temporary. everything. money, health, happiness, sorrow, love, friendship. everything. 

it seems some people love the easy way out. most people wont fight for love. wont stand up for what they believe is right. wont put effort to make relationships work. one of my close male friends once told me that if a guy wants something/someone, there is nothing/noone that will stop him. then why is it that all i see around me are guys who have been either too lazy or too proud to go after the woman that they love. Just because something is hard/needs work doesnt mean that you give up at the first obstacle and convince yourself it wasnt meant to be.

Man is a lazy creature.

Man is garfield.  

The main reason why women don’t like mama’s boys is because competing with the woman who gave birth to him just isn’t an option. For me, it is primarily because I do not see any ‘alpha male’ quality anymore. And I need to respect my man, knowing he can stand up for himself and for me when and if needed.

Knowing that he cares about his parents and is sensitive towards his mother is nice, it adds a soft side to a man’s character and image. However, being a hand puppet for his mommy, is not only a turn off, but it is a sure way to ruin his and his partner’s lives.

enough said.

(WARNING: vulnerable post ahead!)

I had the week from hell last week. It stirred up a lot of emotions, and I am not a melodramatic person, nor an uber emotional one. I am very compassionate however.

and that is a downside. as I feel what people feel, and I get sad when they do, happy when they are, but worse of all, I feel horrible when I find myself useless in my many trials to help those I care about. It’s not about the failure. It mainly is about me wanting to see them happy, and being unable to control that. I know I cant have everyone around me happy, as it is not in my hands, but I so wish it were…

but disappointment never stopped me before, and it sure as hell won’t stop me now… I will keep trying.

 

I however am saddened when I feel I am not as good a friend as I thought I were. I am sometimes impulsive, sometimes dont think things through, and mostly I speak before thinking when I am around people I love. I think I need to re-evaluate and assess myself a little these coming days… and I know I will be hard on myself, thats just me!  and I can’t bear the thought of not being there as I want for my friends.

Call me an idiot, but it makes me feel less adequate to know someone else is better at this than me with certain people I hold dear to my heart…

on expectations and such..

Posted: September 20, 2009 in feelings, inside out, sad me

sadness_by_Bloodm8

Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy – the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation.
– Eric Hoffer

Sometimes, unintentionally, i give some people the benefit of the doubt, or too much credit, or just like them enough to expect the best out of them. Normally, i dont have much expectations, to avoid disappointment. But sometimes, it happens. w ghaltet il sha6er bi alf. (loosely translated into: a wise man’s err is equal to a thousand mistakes)

Disappointment is a hard emotion to process, its something that will always feel bad. Like with a first love, it will always be intense, the ones that come after that, less intense. but with disappointment, it will always hurt the same. I think what hurts more is the affirmation that our judgement is impaired and flawed.

The ways i found effective in getting over it, is disenchantment, and detachment.

he was supposed to turn 60 in June. God had other plans.

mom texted sis and i saying he’s tired, and that we should come down and see him.. hopefully when he sees us he will feel better. we did not even set foot in the plane when we got the call that he had passed. i havent seen dad in 3 years, and sis hasnt seen him since start of 2008. the flight was a blur really.. once we got there my cousin picked us up, took us to the hospital where dad passed.. we had to say goodbye to one of the most amazing people and one of the greatest fathers who ever lived in the morgue.. mkaffan. ice cold. yet smiling. he passed away smiling. i still cant believe i have to say allah yer7amo every time i mention my dad.. he did not get to see me in white, never will see my children.. but im sure he will be watching over us all. he always was our guardian. our protector.

please send out a prayer when you read this. Allah yer7amak w ye7sen eleik ya rab.

bla bla bloo

Posted: December 7, 2008 in bla bla bla, inside out, random, rant, sad me

* what is it bout national day that makes ppl ‘snap’ in this country! the traffic and accidents and ta5mees and burning wheels and face paint and all that crap! its ittihad, not ta7reer!

* as Eid drops by every year, i find myself more detached of every jolly emotion it should bring.. im more convnced that Eid and all other celebrated occasions, are mostly great forkids.. adults lose something as they get older that doesnt make em enjoy these celebrations.. but the wierdest thing is, i love christmas! of course  for the decorations and colors and all that, not for the religious reason behind it.  oh and Kel 3am w ento b5eir.

* why is it that men hate questions so much!? normal questions and innocent inquiries make a man blow up! inno r their brains designed differently!? like to identify any form of query as nagging! eft! i have no idea how we came from that creature’s rib!

* im sick of everything and need a MAJOR change. suggestions!?

8/185

Posted: July 13, 2008 in feelings, inside out, sad me