Posted: April 29, 2008 in feelings, inside out, sad me, tenzeker ma ten3ad

is something i dont usually feel, since i am convinced that everything happens for a reason and usually all the mistakes and misjudgements that we do in our lives have a lesson to be learnt, and that they happened at a time when we werent in the best mental or emotional state and somehow that makes it ok.. also im a firm believer that if one keeps looking back, one wont move forward..

however, the past few days, and for the first time in my 27 years of living, i feel remorse over an act i have done 3 years ago (exactly 3 years and 4 days ago)… i had a lousy medical procedure which i thought might make things right but failed drasticly, not to mention now i am facing some bad complications that might affect my body forever. in addition to that, there is the monetary cost i will have to pay to rectify what went wrong, and that wasnt at all planned for.. i havent slept since friday, except for 2 hours last night, just thinking of options and solutions and how and when, im waiting to run some tests to assess the amount of damage that happened, and this anticipation and the wait is the hardest…

i just wish i did my homework more thoroughly.. i guess there’s no use in wishing now, except wishing that God will be merciful as He always is..

  1. Nada says:

    Hi Dear, wish u find peace with urself and know what to do, Salamtek, May Good protect you

  2. Verbal Alchemy says:

    Nada: thank you so much, this is so sincere and sweet, Bless!

  3. Hala says:

    Hey *hug*

    I really hope that everything goes your way, you know I feel with you because I am in the exact same situation now.

    On Thursday, I did poorly on one of my finals. The grades are supposed to be released today. I had to wait from Thursday to Tuesday and it simply is killing me. I cannot think anymore, cannot eat, cannot sleep. I wanted to get good grades this semester and make things right. It feels bad because it sucks when you are too close to reach what you want but then you fall short. And now, one grade might ruin my happiness with my other grades. Eh I wish I did my homework (Literally), but it is a tad too late now.

    I love what you said about regret in the first paragraph, it makes perfect sense. I swear it made me feel better. Regret is one of the most awful feelings. I wish you health and patience, just be strong and remember that each and every problem has a solution. Otherwise, life would not go on.

    *Sorry for the long comment, lol.

  4. I’m sorry things went wrong! You’re right, though… things happen for a reason. I hope you can get the money to fix it… meanwhile, you’re right, focus on what you’re supposed to learn from this and be happy it didn’t kill you. 😉

    Feel better…

  5. Maioush says:

    I hope thing goes jusy fine inshalla, 2 years ago i had to go through the same thing when i broke my nose while runnig after my bro 😦
    i had 2 surgeries so far, but i’m still unable to breath … all i needed is just to fix whatever went wrong when it got borken, and they are not doing it right (allah ye2ta3hom) … i’m planning for a third one as soon as i can get out of the states, suz it will cost me soooooo much money…
    7abeebi, inshalla u will be just fine, i’ll pray for you, don’t regret anything, you didn’t know that this will happen Right? 🙂 bel salameh ya rab

  6. haniobaid says:

    Hope it gets better.

  7. Jasim says:

    Yo Dimz, cheer up. 😀

    Look, just go on with it, and don’t look back. Hope everything will get better.

  8. Hala: im glad u felt better :hug: i always smile when i c u around, may GOd bless ur sweet soul 🙂

    “It feels bad because it sucks when you are too close to reach what you want but then you fall short.” EXACTLY! i had everything planned and poof! sth just had to go wrong.. even with this upcoming surgery 1) i dint expect it now, 2) its poorly planned! i just hope all goes well, thanks 7abibti and i enjoy reading your long comments 😉

  9. Marv: thanks martian 🙂
    im grateful for everything, i just wished i had taken my time and done it differently the first time so i wont be in this position right now.

  10. Mai: :hug: i hope you also get through your condition at the soonest, w tetyassar min 7aytho la tadri..
    allah ysalmek bannouteh 🙂

  11. Jaz: thanks Jazora, nshala 🙂

  12. mo says:

    salamtik 🙂

  13. Pru says:

    Dima habibti I’m so sorry! Whatever the procedure was it is not your fault that things went wrong. It is the doctor’s responsiblity to explain to you every possible side effect and what to expect. Sometimes, one takes a chance and decides to go ahead with something, fully knowing the risks involved. We do that because we’re humans; we hope for the best and do not really expect the worst. But when the worst happens we face up to it.
    I hope everything will be ok, please update us on what happens!

    Salamit albik sweets :hug:

  14. pru: it wasnt ur fault either 😀 dont be sorry 7abibti :hug: kello min allah mnee7.

    ur right, i had high hopes, and it was naive of me or maybe a bit foolish i donno a mixture of both yemken..

    allah ysalmek bannout, updates soon nshala 🙂

  15. muhoudi says:

    This is a difficult situation, but as you said you need to go forward and not look behind you. I found from a really long experience dealing with problems that the best way to make a difficult decision is first to be fully informed about it and second not to do it under pressure, especially an emotional one. Get out, go somewhere where you can feel relaxed and not think about the issue. Sleep early and take time off if you can and if you can not Just miss work.

    Then, just make your decision and do not look backward.

    Good Luck!

  16. Tiger says:

    hey… wassup Miss regret..

    Common u dipressed me woman ……….am havin a surgery on 12/5 and after reading this post frankly sha3ar rasee wa2af men el ‘7oof (6aba3an if u know me then u know am kidding le2nee simply Bold o ba7le2 3al moos :P)

    see we are all in the same boat here I got a really Bad Injury in my knee last year … I dont know if u read about it when I had a blog..6aba3an the insurance and the SOB doc who happened to be one of the top docs in AD played a game and they prvented me from taking the right therapy and surgical procedure required.. the result am limping zay el kalb el jarban for more than a year now o kol shway my knee pops up in a very disturbing picture..6ab3an i can sue that guy but common no use of that now…my life was like hell for a full year and the money of the world wont bring it back..

    btw the good part is am gonna get a 6 weeks sick leave due to this big time surgery and u know what just having this sick leave would wipe out the idea of any small diameter of regret for me:)

    u know what i learnd in this year…I really miss things I used to do as ordinary stuff ie.: football (the cause of the injury),basket ball ,gym,running, walking for long distances,catching my nasty nephews kicking my friends with my left leg …yeah and this one jumping on my bed with 3 MAch speed when am really tired (this one i cant do …big time pop up would happen)…I found out that those little thing were a bless and I appreciate them more as us said everything have its reason now the reason is me to learn how to treat my body with respect becoz its a bless from god

    so once i finalize these surgery stuff damm it for sure am gonna go back to my normal habbits with no regrets at all…

    at the end sorry to talk too long but u know am just having a surgery in few days so am kind of in high high mode (it must be the green tea am driniking right now)

  17. muhoudi: i have done all that, but still there is this mini molecule that regrets having been so naive the first time..
    thanks for the wishes 🙂

  18. nimer: its bald not bold.

    thank u for the input & good luck.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s