Archive for March, 2009

the psychology of deception is an interesting study, especially that of self-deception..


deception by general defenition is the act of convincing another to believe information that is not true, or not the whole truth. (brought to you by Wiki).  (personally i believe hiding facts is just as horrible and hurtful as lying). Self-deception  is the process or act of misleading ourselves to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid, self-deception in short is the way we justify false beliefs to ourselves!

Psychologists usually focus on unconscious motivations and intentions when discussing self-deception, they also usually consider it as a bad thing, although its sometimes used as a self guarding mechanism one uses to avoid getting hurt/broken/shocked. we do it all the time. yes we do. i might even exaggerate and claim its an instinctive act at times! but dont quote me on it : D

In relationships, self-deception sometimes helps couples see the best in each other, to a certain extent, relationships could not survive without some level of self-deception, but too much optimism or denial, can be just as costly. The trick is to engage in self-deception in order to see the best in a partner without letting self-deception create too much vulnerability.  In relationships, it can create more harm than good when it limits people from seeing important warning signs, or it leads people to overlook serious problems, or it causes people to put the best spin on everything that happens.  & frankly thats why i personally dont believe in traditional marriages. as everyone wears a mask and partners use self deception to make the suiter look better in their eyes in order to make it happen and rid themselves of society’s pressures. (which in my very humble opinion, is no valid reason to get married!).

 is there a point of this post? not really, just some psychobabble.  every day life brings thoughts and the psychologist in me keeps analyzing people non-stop!

the art of manipulation

Posted: March 11, 2009 in Uncategorized

is very widespread, i am inclined to believe its actually instinctive!

(long psychobabble post ahead!)

if you observe children, you find that they are masters at emotional blackmail, and so are parents when they get older, simply coz they go back to being kids again! younger siblings manipulate their parents to blaming the older kids for messes they created.. bosses manipulate their subordinates into doing all the work for them then arrogantly taking all the credit for it and then some! and that’s where the art part comes in. art here has to be subtle.

i like to think that manipulation is split up into two directions, one is mind manipulation, while the other is emotional manipulation.

mind manipulation is best described as brainwashing or mental hacking.. which means enslaving the person and puppet-izing them, sometimes with the use of hypnosis. most of mind manipulation is seen in cults, groups, and the army. i believe in the Arabic saying (il zann a2wa min il se7er – loosely translated into ‘continuous nagging is stronger than voodoo’).. techniques include: endless repetition, group-think (using the whole group to draw each person into its mindset), enemy creation, and control of both the surroundings and the flow of information. by themselves, each technique has little effect, but when taken together, they create a strong influence over personal thought-patterns and behaviors. i tend to believe that this form of manipulation began with satan, and is still ongoing.

mind manipulation is a bigger concept and a more agressive tactic and is used usually by groups, emotional manipulation is used between individuals and is more subtle and sometimes unnoticable except after a while, so you need to adjust the sensetivity of your bullsh!t meter to escape unharmed!

you can spot an emotional manipulator easily, they 1) never try to be honest and even if you ask them specific questions you will only get vague answers 2) say one thing and later assure you they did not say it! its called crazy making, and be sure to make them know ur on to it, carry a pad and pen if you to jot down stuff if have to! it’ll tick them off. 3) make you feel guilty for speaking up OR not speaking up, for caring or not giving a damn, for being sensetive or insensetive. they will make you feel guilty for anything and everything, since most of us are inclined to do whatever is necessary to reduce the feeling of guilt and thats where they want us! 4) have no sense of accountability at all, and will never take responsibility for themselves or their behavior, and usually they dont do their ‘dirty’ work themselves either. they manipulate others to do it for them. very satanic behavior.

if you’re being vulnerable, dont show it, an emotional manipultor present will take advantage of it and will be the willing helper until they get full control.