Archive for April, 2009

he was supposed to turn 60 in June. God had other plans.

mom texted sis and i saying he’s tired, and that we should come down and see him.. hopefully when he sees us he will feel better. we did not even set foot in the plane when we got the call that he had passed. i havent seen dad in 3 years, and sis hasnt seen him since start of 2008. the flight was a blur really.. once we got there my cousin picked us up, took us to the hospital where dad passed.. we had to say goodbye to one of the most amazing people and one of the greatest fathers who ever lived in the morgue.. mkaffan. ice cold. yet smiling. he passed away smiling. i still cant believe i have to say allah yer7amo every time i mention my dad.. he did not get to see me in white, never will see my children.. but im sure he will be watching over us all. he always was our guardian. our protector.

please send out a prayer when you read this. Allah yer7amak w ye7sen eleik ya rab.

* its funny (not funny ha ha) how some people like to ruin things for others when its ruined for them! why dont people just leave others alone?! especially the happier ones.. karma is not be taken lightly people!

* i read this sentence somewhere and ever since i did, its been stuck in the back of my head, resurfacing every once in a while to fuel my insomnia again: “if u have no passion for what u do, u’ll never be really happy“..

i have certainly reached that stage. depressingly so.

i’ve prolly been feeling it for a while but denying it coz we as humans do that sometimes, its taking the easy way out basically.. it takes so much risk and effort and energy and even courage to change your life and career dramatically. will you make it? will you not? addeh 3alam 7ayeshmato feek if you dint! not to mention the monetary burden of not being in the same lifestyle level you’re used to (not to mention the people you support financially – i.e. parents or kids)

i feel like i have reached that midlife crisis stage, but im not a man, and im not middle aged, and my crisis doesnt involve cheating or buying a cherry red car! i just think the time is right now. not next year or the one after. now.