Archive for the ‘thoughts’ Category

ramadan is over

Posted: October 5, 2008 in bla bla bla, life, ma7alli, rant, thoughts

but the spirit hopefully will live on, i had such a magical month this year, it was the most peaceful ramadan i ever had to be honest. i felt closer to God than i ever were, and i intend to keep it that way, inshAllah.

what baffles me however, is the audacity of so many people, muslims or not, in this holy month. wherever you look you find someone drinking coffee in their car, or rolling down their tinted car windows to blow the smoke off their ciggies, ya3ni cant you wait to get home or to the office or to a freaking parking lot! people have no respect i swear! i go to other offices, or even downstairs to exit to the parking lot (coffee shops/restaurants were operating in my office building as they were in many office buildings in the city!) or to the road, and can smell coffee, smoke, and pungent smelling foods!

what bothers me the most is that the country doesnt impose its supposedly ‘Islamic’ rules on its residents! THEY should respect that its a holy month of fasting and that this is afterall an Islamic country, but rude enough, they want US to get over it coz its a diversified community! in Egypt, you DARE not be caught even chewing gum in the streets, christian or not, everyone has a certain amount of respect for the month, and the country has strict rules on open shops and coffeeshops. i wish that gets implemented here someday, coz even though i couldn’t care less who eats what before me in ramadan, its just rude and disrespectful.

as opposed to common belief, good girls DONT always love bad boys, but MOST of them get attracted to one (at the very least) in their lifetime.

why i hear you ask?

i have noticed, after a lot of observation, that the unfortunate truth about women is that they are stupid enough to think they can change men, of course the bigger challenge is changing a bad boy! also, usually we, as humans, innately tend to defy our parents in everything we do, hence, going out with the one boy your mom will always warn you about presents itself as one of the biggest congenital habits, should you be expected to the miss goody-two-shoes by your parents and society. we are born with a passion to be unique, and being predictable is, to some, the worst thing that can happen!

i like to think that the idea of a bad boy (or girl) is exciting because of our curious nature as humans. we love to analyze one another, dissect each other’s personalities and  we love to explore, we thrive for adventure! and what better way to explore than by being in a totally different comfort zone, a bad zone! for a good girl who just wants out, a short lived relationship with the total opposite of her persona DOES sound ideal, but on the long run, i personally think they both will realize that it wont work, and if it would, they both will change and compromise, eventually.

deja vu 10

Posted: August 20, 2008 in damdoumization, life, observations, people, rant, thoughts

and the last one for now : )

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Redundancy..

as much as i like to think there is diversity in this world, i feel our community has become redundant to an annoying extent..

1. almost every girl looks the same, 4 major categories bi nazari, the brunette haifa wahbeh wannabes, the
blonde california-dream kinda girl, “vieled” girls with their second skin tshirts under a camisole that barely covers anything and of course the tight trews, and number 4, girls that skipped an evolution cycle.. stuck in the 80s phase…

2. almost every guy wants to be the next GM of a huge company, wont tell u they r just clerks at the moment, instead, insist that they r assistant managers in the making! almost every guy has to drive a car they cant afford, carry a cell phone which costs them half their salary on its bills, and has to have a “fly” girl by his side. ahhh the necessities of life!

3. almost everywhere u go, same issues are being discussed, same recurring topics, needless to say almost everyone wants to look like they know-it-all more than the remaining almost everyone!

4. almost every building is a frightening replica of a previous one, and almost all restaurants with a “theme” have almost the same look other restaurants under the relevant theme have!

and one wud think after a gazillion years of man being on the face of this earth, and after numerous years of technology and advance in all aspects of life, ppl wud be different and more diverse.. (creative is a word that comes to my mind also). but i wonder, is it coz u have to go with the flow to not feel isolated or stand out oddly, or is it coz its easier to be like everyone else, coz the road less taken is darker with no defenition and requires more effort and originality? humans will always fascinate me, even when they’re becoming predictable!

and since 8 is my ultimate favorite number, here is one of my favorite posts! im in love with my writings, arnt i humble 😀

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 eyes. my favorite part of the human anatomy.

i absolutely adore expressive eyes that can speak a thousand words with just one look.. peircing eyes.. bold and fun.. im usually very attracted to black/brown eyes, dont enjoy gazing at colored eyes.. i’ll say its prolly coz opposites attract :-/


psychologists say that the color does have an impact on ppl, and have categorized (or generalized) the following:

Brown Eyes: cares deeply for family, affectionate with a serious nature
Light Blue Eyes: Peaceful with low physical endurance.
Hazel Eyes: Easily bored and mentally agile.
Deep Blue Eyes: spiritual, intense computer loverz!
Green Eyes: curious, intelligent, jealous.
Blue/grey Eyes: humanitarian with a peaceful nature.
Grey Eyes: analytical, clear thinking, philosiphical.

personally, i always believed that brown eyes are the most passionate and goal oriented ppl. blue eyes r emotionless and cold. but deep blue eyes are deep and captivating. green eyed folks are cheeky and fun loving ppl. and grey eyed ppl are unique and spiritual. but thats just me! but no matter what the color is, i think beautiful eyes are nothing without attitude, they wud be empty in fact!


do u think that u can have a certain judgement just by looking into someone’s eyes? do u really believe that u can tell if someone is lying or being truthful from the look in their eyes? do some eyes intimidate u?

i personally think that eyes are like seasons, i know, insane theory to categorize ppl into only 4 classifications.. but here it goes..

 

fall: mature, calm, dreamy, realistic yet hopeful, spiritual in their own way. academic and enjoy reading, have a paternal/maternal gaze. comforting and gr8 confidants. trustworhy and very loving. i associate those with somehow small brown eyes, or deep blue… (horses eyes)

 

winter: like a storm, they’re strong & powerful! these ppl demand respect, have a strong presence and a certain aura.. quiet yet very attractive.. warm and passionate. possessive. they usually are long-term bachelors, coz they need someone to move them! someone who can get them with so little effort and talk.. i imagine them bold big eyes, brown or green.. (tiger eyes) (my fave type by far)

 

summer: might come across as aloof, but they’re just timid loners. conservative. single minded and resist change. enjoy a certain routine and order to their life.. they r in full control of their emotions, and usually dont show any passion or excitement.. these ppl love their solitude and work individually more than in a group.. i associate summer eyes with light blue eyes or hazel, narrow and close set. (fox eyes)

 

spring: bright, hyper, very balanced with a time for work and a time for play. polite and respectful. enjoy nature and love sports. their eyes glow when they laff, and close a little.. friendly and welcoming. i associate them with wide blue/green eyes, grey/green eyes, or hazel/green eyes.. (dogs eyes)

 

& thanks for reading!

deja vu 6

Posted: August 20, 2008 in life, random, thoughts

more of my fave old posts from the blog that i deleted… apologies to those who already read them. im just trying to keep their memory alive =D
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isnt it amazing how some ppl keep their walls up even when they’re tired and want to let their ‎guard down but their inner protector stands firm to the decision it made to keep them away from self ‎inflicted pain? ‎

is it easier being in ‘safe mode’ all the time? doesnt it actually take more effort to keep track of ‎what you give out or not bout yourself? doesnt hurt help us grow and evolve and shape a better ‎judgement and a more solid character? why would one wanna miss out on a great relationship and ‎connection with others that can result from sharing innermost feelings and thoughts? sometimes ‎it doesnt work out yes, but that will give you the better knowledge next time.. and when it works ‎out, you wud have gained great friends and maybe even met your true better half in the process. ‎

i think hurt teaches us valuable lessons, and usually they are about ourselves, lessons about our ‎courage, strength, emotional intelligence, our endurance, etc etc. it can either open your eyes to your ‎weaknesses, or surprise you with your innate strengths. ‎

being the social person that i am, i met a lot of ppl who are so private and emotionally secure that i ‎wonder, whats the worse that cud happen if they opened up a little? how do they live their life ‎THIS bottled up? how does it feel being in their shoes and always avoiding sharing their fears/ ‎thoughts/ feelings and prolly ending up feeling all alone in the world (and maybe even BEING all ‎alone for the rest of their time)? is it really easier than a few scars that can make them stronger ‎with time?? ‎

 

sigh..

Posted: August 10, 2008 in bla bla bla, life, ma7alli, observations, thoughts
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
– Jane Wagner 

 

there is not one single person i know or came across in this freaking city that has little or no amount of overwhelming stress to bear..

everyday is a race, with who? No one knows! but everyone is running in this place, everyone is after something, everyone wants more money, and also want more time to do more things with their lives.. but those cant be acheived together in most cases, so everyone is frustrated and depressed! from colleagues and friends to my sister’s friends and colleagues, to doctors you meet, or their nurses while you wait, or even while shopping and waiting at a shop’s counter you converse with someone and you can instantly see the tired look on their face and the heavy sigh when you ask them how is work..

we bankers feel the heat more, with the credit crunch and the market crashes and the real estate market in europe crashing and so many people being laid off everyday… everyone is in a competition for someone’s job!

it INDEED IS a jungle out there! and i wonder if its worth all this stress..

yeah the title has some pun intended..

my question is, have you ever wished you were of a different ethnic background? ever wished to be of a race you’re not? for whatever reason whether their looks or their rich(er) culture or their lifestyle or anything that might attract you more than your own race..

i always think of that, and even though i am a proud palestinian, i dream about being from anothe race.. wierd aren’t i! anyone else as wierd as well?

why do people hope? why do we hold on to hope like naive innocent children when we know there is a (big) chance of disappointment? what is it about the thought of a better tomorrow or the thought of things working out like you’ve painted them in your head that keeps us going in life? or is it just a ray of light to hold onto through the darkest hours? could it be that hope is corelated to faith? our faith in God lets us know we will be ok, and keeps us sane, and keeps us from ending our lives.. so is hope a form of faith?

i sometimes think i shouldnt hope anymore, for anything! i had a lot of disappointments and was mad at my Creator many times (may He forgive me)… however, i still find myself hoping and wishing..

randomness 2

Posted: August 5, 2008 in damdoumization, life, random, thoughts

* this whole murder case of suzan tamim is sad.. what a sad depressing life she led, and what a way to exit.. may she be in a better place now..

* men dont change. so if a woman’s sole mission in life is to change a man, she’s a fool!

* there are a lot of paradoxes in life, one of which, is why oh why do we not get what we want when we want it? when we stop wanting things, they come to us with major ease .. bleh!

* compatibility means nothing in friendships, why should it mean anything in relationships? we grow up with friends from different backgrounds and different financial levels and different beliefs and we make them friends for life, why is it when chosing a life partner we get all caught up with those factors when all that matters is getting along spiritually and personality wise? i know i know, someone will argue that background shapes people into who they are today, i disagree, experiences do.

* i keep wondering what did people speak before islam? before the quran? in jahiliyeh, even in the time of the great Pharaoh.. was it arabic they spoke back then in Egypt? i mean the prophet (PBUH) obviously spoke arabic, since sunna is in proper Fus7a arabic.. when did arabic originate then, in what time?

* life is hard, man! we watch too many movies and listen to too many songs and read too many books to convince ourselves that happy endings and fairytales are possible, but in reality, life is fairly hard! things dont happen like we want them to, or expect them to, or even as they’re supposed to after a series of events and pursuances! there is always a way things can be messed up, and it usually DOES happen. i am not being pessemistic here, but i guess i have had enough time being the optimistic fool that i am…

* i truly believe every human has one form or another of a psychological illness/abnormality/disorder.  also i always believed that people are schizophrenic by nature. since we have a ‘heart’ and a ‘mind’ and usually they’re on different frequencies.. unless one of them is more dominant than the other, EVERYONE has at least a pair of disorders!

* its amazing how people come into our lives and bring a little of their karma with them.. im sure u have met at least one person who brought you a bit of good luck in a moment in time, i believe like attracts like, and people are contageous.. if your disposition is happy, it will rub off on the people in your small and even big circle.. if your mood is often blue and negative you will somehow pass it on to the people around you.. whether you want to or not.. people are but bottles of colors! you bring your blue and the person next to you brings their red, and you both will end up with a little bit of purple..

* for every action there is indeed a reaction..! the intensity of it however depends on how deep the psychological disorders of the person are!

1. Thank you both for bringing him to this world, so i can meet him 19 years later.. and hold on to him forever..
2. Thank You Almighty for always watching over me, i would have never made it without Your Providence..
3. Thank you love, for being who you are, and for always being there, and for the tremendous joy you bring to my life everyday.. i can’t thank you enough, but i promise to love you forever..
4. Thank you hard times for shaping what i am today.. without all the ordeals i would have never known how strong i truly am inside.
5. Thank you both for being the best parents you can be, for raising me right and giving me all the basics i need to move on in my life and make it on my own.
6. Thank you RH for being the best friend i can ever ask for.. bless u girl!
7. Thank you RN for teaching me professionalism and promptness, and what it takes to be a great boss who is respected, and loved.
8. Im thankful for all my 7 senses, may they sustain me a lifetime..
9. Thank God for spring and summer!

so what (or who) motivates u? what gets u going? what is ur ultimate energy factor when u feel ur almost completely drained?

 

hmmm..

Posted: July 2, 2008 in random, thoughts

 

قال علي بن ابي طالب – كرم الله وجهه
الفقر بالوطن غربة، و الغنى بالغربة وطن
 
طيب و الفقر بالغربة شو؟؟

untitled

Posted: June 19, 2008 in damdoumization, feelings, inside out, sad me, thoughts

Untitled

Leave me at the end of the world
where all my screaming will be unheard
there I can find myself alone..
In darkness where i feel safe and sound
Solitude is the best friend you can get
No hurt, no pain and no regret
Leave me in a place to clear my head
I feel so raged yet so brain dead..  

|HadeS|

been meaning to write this for a while since i get to see so many people every day, most of them at my office building are so elegant and very polished, but there are a few misses.. and when i go out, i see the ultimate fashion crimes everywhere! i dont understand is it me who thinks that these things are a fashion faux pas or are people really clueless or do they simply not care what others think of what they’re wearing? i donno, i think everyone should at LEAST be color coordinated and neat. anyway.. Here goes my list of donts:

1. oversized clothes: why??? why do u wanna wear jeans 3 sizes larger and have it land on your lap thinking you’re the new homie in the fereej! or wear a super XXXlarge shirt when you’re a size 10 petite girl? you really dont HAVE to wear second skin, but something fitting not something that can fit your whole neighbourhood!

2. The couple-of-sizes-tighter-jeans: as opposed to point 1 but still talking bout wrong fits, why cant people familiarize themselves with their REAL size? we do not need to see your love handles escaping your jeans looking like a muffin top coz you still think you can fit into size 8 jeans! you dont, live with it!

3. The Mommy Jeans: bleh! the most stuck-in-the-80s, unflattering look ever for such a gorgeous material! if you’re a mom, and have your kangaroo pouch, invest in a boot leg cut jeans, they will give you height, and if they are dark in color, they will make you look thinner, as opposed to the Mommy Jeans that will only grab attention at the belly area and even if you dint have one, it will create it with all the creases. (couldnt find a picture for the mom jeans, but you know them! waist up to the neck, million creases in the front, and tapered down to the ankles! eww!)

4. tye dye.. i personally love them, but only when they are one color in different shades blended nicely, or at most 2 colors that really go well together. the look of a rainbow throwing up on you isnt funky..

5. revealing shoes on ugly toes: please PLEASE spare the world the horrific sight and invest in mules or something! ugly toes are such a turn off yuk! if you have it flaunt it, thats the saying, if you dont, please itteb3o maqoulet il rasoul: itha buletum fa istatirou! and definetly no pics! eww!

6. caked makeup at 10 AM: less is more really. especially with makeup. i see little 16 year old having 10 kgs of makeup in the mall. IT DOES NOT COMPLIMENT YOUR FEATURES! the marilyn manson look is a complete no-no people! makeup should highlight your best features, or hide any blemishes or breakouts or excess freckles or anything you find unappealing and would like to hide it softly. i just wish people would use it wisely! (zhe2et ma bidi 7o6 pic!)

7. VPL and VBS: yes, visible panty lines and visible bra straps. need i say more? (no pics!)

even at a hospital! i dowanna advertize, but Emirates Hospital is surely the best i have been to, and i have been to a lot! the nurses are amazing, the doctors so friendly, and i even enjoyed the usually terrible and hurl-inducing gastroendoscopy!

i SO believe that client servicing is not a job, its something you are born with. you cant fake it, you cant learn it even! its attitude and character. and maybe because i have been in client relationship and customer service for many years (6 to be exact, and i was/am still awarded for performance excellency) and i somehow -foolishly- expect at least GOOD service from people. i donno why.. but it never is. or maybe its just not what i would do. isnt it funny?

sometimes i wonder why are we always not happy when someone doesnt do things the way we do, like say driving! once we become drivers, we cant be satisfied with anyone’s way of driving.. excel sheets are a nightmare if someone else formatted and built them from scratch and you would have an updating job to do.. or maybe its just me 😐

isnt it ironic

Posted: May 6, 2008 in bla bla bla, thoughts

that the things we live for are the same things we could die for?

-ve vs +ve

Posted: April 20, 2008 in psychobabble, quote, thoughts

…why is it that we obsess with negativity more than positivity?

Being good is boring but turning bad into good will always remain the greatest challenge of our life! We are fascinated by evil, by negativity! Look at literature, the most unforgettable characters are those that personified evil – Macbeth, Heathcliff, Ebenezer.. Perhaps we remember them because in the end they were redeemed…Maybe.. I tend to think that dwelling on and thinking of and fearing  the negative just contributes to its power..

Negativity’s main component is anger i reckon.. and with that said, i leave you with a beautiful and very accurate ‘Quote of the day’ by Clarendon:

– Anger is the most impotent of passions. It effects nothing it goes about, and hurts the one who is possessed by it more than the one against whom it is directed.

hmmm

Posted: April 16, 2008 in rant, thoughts

طب البلاد لمين؟

Q 3

Posted: April 14, 2008 in i wanna know, people, random, thoughts

financial status, position, social background and nationality… how important are these factors to when chosing and making friends? (whether in school, uni, or work)

O, how i loathe goodbyes.. not all of them though.. just when the closest people leave anywhere for a long time..

i remember when i first went to uni, i was 16 and full of life, still am, but i was full of life and very naive, now i like to think i’ve crossed that stage.. i dint even shed half a tear at the airport saying bye to my parents.. i was so excited to start the adventure of independence! but when i graduated uni, and after 4 years of almost every emotion on earth felt, and the hundreds of friends i made, i left to the airport alone, in a cab, without saying goodbye to anyone.

A silent exit. (drama queen didi)

i felt so helpless yesterday saying goodbye to my better half as he went for a ten day trip home before he leaves to europe for his Phd, and even though its not the first time i bid him farewell, it was more painful the second time around, and i am sure it will be more painful every time to come.. until he is done with his degree or we get married and i move, whichever comes first.. i never drove him to the airport btw.. even when my best friend/more like a sister to me came 2 years ago for a week, i dint take her to the airport, i just cant.

insane? maybe.. but i just cant say goodbye to anyone i love at the airport..i break down like a 6 year old and cry my eyes out… im sentimental like that.  

 

oldies # 2..

Posted: April 2, 2008 in bla bla bla, feelings, life, thoughts

Best moments in life:

1. Falling in love. (u bet!)
2. Laughing till your stomach hurts. (yes!)
3. Enjoying a ride down the country side.
4. Listening to your favorite song on the radio. (especially if ur already hyper)
5. Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside. (not for me but i wud like to wake up to snow)
6. Getting out of the shower and wrapping yourself with a warm, fuzzy towel. (ahhhh…)
7. Passing your final exams with good grades. (especially if u dint bother studying!)
8. Being part of an interesting conversation.
9. Finding some money in some old pants. (and if ur broke it wud be an extra gr8 feeling)
10. Laughing at yourself.
11. Sharing a wonderful dinner with all your friends.
12. Laughing without a reason.
13. “Accidentally” hearing someone say somthing good about you. (ego boost? maybe! but it is a nice feeling)
14. Watching the sunset. (i prefer sunrise)
15. Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in your life. (yessssssss!)
16. Feeling that warmth in your guts when seeing this “special” someone.
17. Having a great time with your friends.
18. Seeing the one you love happy.
19. Wearing the shirt of a person you love and smelling his/her perfume. (this is amazing..)
20. Visiting an old friend of yours and remembering great memories. (takes u back in time! i love this one)

i wud like to add a few of my favorite moments (and please feel free to add urs as well :D)

21. having ice cream in the rain/snow
22. sunbathing! the feel of the sun on one’s skin is just grand!
23. bumping into ur loved one as ur both buying cards/gifts for one another
24. waking up to ur loved one’s face
25. Hear the words “allah yerda 3aleiki” from ur parents
26. helping out a needy one or an elderly or a cripple
27. the moment ur ear pops open after a really bad flu and u can hear clearly again lol
28. going home early from work (il tazweegh:D)
29. having cheese cake (enter any pig-out favorite here) when ur depressed
30. a chick flick with some tears in the end
31. receiving flowers (whether ur a guy or girl it just feels tingly all over)
32. someone randomly saying “aww u look so nice together” when u and ur better half r together
33. surprise gifts
34. spur of the moment get aways
35. the smell of a new car

isnt it funny how when ur a 5 year old, anyone who’s ready to jump with you on a bed or build sand castles with you is automatically considered a friend, and if you were to share a sandwich they will be considered a best friend! but when you’re 25 or over it becomes so much harder to call almost anyone a friend??

is it the lack of quality people in this day and age? or is it losing the will (which sometimes comes with age) to socialize/give chances/get to know more people to filter and classify a good friend?

q 3

Posted: March 20, 2008 in i wanna know, thoughts

had the pornography industry not been founded, do u think ppl wud have been less obscene than they r nowadays??

plastika fantastika

Posted: March 20, 2008 in i wanna know, thoughts

لا يصلح العطار ما افسده الزمن

oh but a plastic surgeon can!

how open r u to the idea of plastic surgery?

personally i am all for it! but then im a woman! lol, no seriously i accept it completley only if its reconstructive.. a face lift when u age, a tummy tuck when u lost a lot of weight, a broken nose being fixed, thats all fine by me.. in fact i think it helps lift the spirits more than anything anyone can say to un-depress a person.. but changing one’s looks just for the mere thought that they wud look better than the way God Almighty created them is a definite no!

random thoughts

Posted: March 11, 2008 in bla bla bla, random, thoughts

have been away, since blogger is blocked at work, and i have a life after work, hence, i dont get online much.. so behold! a dose of my randomness!

  • philipinos r the best in service industries by faaaarrrr! i am believing that more and more every day! they do have a bad habbit of singing all the time, in the worst places and times ever! but still, most of em have crappy jobs, and get paid in minumum wage, live from paycheck to paycheck, and yet they keep smiling.. and provide the best service.. singing gets them by i guess..

  • i’ve always had a fear of boundaries, not clusterphobic per se, just cant stand being surrounded by borders.. like while driving, if i come to a point where there r those orange cones and the street goes a little tighter, i freak out! and hyperventilate until im done with that part of the road!i donno how wack is that, but i feel wierd!

  • i hate hiccups!!!! oh and i hate sneezing too.. especially nowadays, hay fever is peaking! i just cant stop sneezing :wa3: and just like hal, i fear it!

  • im so in love with the color purple! all freaking shades of it! :mushy:

Q 2

Posted: February 29, 2008 in i wanna know, random, thoughts

unisex q again..

how comfortable r u having an insanely more attractive partner?

1. lebanon will have postponed elections for the 340th time, and still counting!
2. dubai will have the biggest, largest and TALLEST dome on earth to cover the city and keep its weather controlled and clean
3. dubai’s population will be 80% indians
4. we wont worry bout obesity anymore , it will be mandatory to excercise in the office for an hour or two
5. america’s recession will get the best (if any) of it until there is nomore..
6. more children will be homeschooled
7. i believe (another word for hope) we will be able to teleport freely!
8. sabbou7a will still be around, and still singing!

feel free to add ur predictions too!

Untitled…

Posted: February 25, 2008 in damdoumization, feelings, inside out, thoughts

An image made of light
I see clouds not so white
a mixture of yellow, blue and grey
some rays battle and go astray
i sit with my hands holding my head
i cant bear the sounds of silence, oh so dead..
an aching heart, a dormant mind
an endless fight that’s not so kind
both bearing daggers and knives
a fight ending in death of beleifs and lives
they lie there looking so waif and dead
and even in Death, they again were wed…
HadeS
i always hear ppl questioning whether or not gayness is acquired or is it embedded in ppl. its deffenitely not a gene. and i dont believe one is born with the tendency, we r straight by nature ppl!