how judgemental are you?

Posted: September 14, 2009 in damdoumization, people, psychobabble, theories, thoughts

no its not a quiz post.

i tend to see the word as ‘judge’ & ‘mental’ to tell you the truth! i dont think i was ever that judgemental, except when i was younger maybe, i had my few moments. however, the longer my journey goes is in this life, the more relaxed and laid back i have become, and the less judgemental i ended up. almost reaching zero judgementalitis (yes, in the infection form).

I am not sure how we become judgemental to be honest, but i always thought it was an environmentally acquired trait. if one is raised in a stereotyping community, one might get more accustomed to the idea of labeling others.. of course there are exceptions, who wouldn’t get affected by the people around them, rather build their own persona and own method of thought. I am not sure if it has to do with how religious we are either, but an old discussion with an ex colleague and a forever best friend brought it up, she believes that if one has faith in God being the ultimate judge of our actions and behavior, then one will never override God’s ‘authority’. Maybe some form of judgement is ok to have? to help in self valuation and self advancement? I dont know.

The judgement that i do not approve of however is the mechanism that we use to create and perpetuate separation, segregation, negativity and limitation for ourselves and from others. and sometimes. make ourselves appear better in our own eyes than others,  you know, putting others down to bring yourself up. which makes the second way of becoming judgemental in my books; good old fashioned low self esteem and total laziness to improve oneself, so one choses the easy way out!

After a lot of thought, i have concluded that understanding the following is the easiest and fastest way people can become less judgemental:

  1. understanding that REAL confidence, is purely self created!
  2. understanding that you are in no way superior to anyone for any reason.
  3. understanding that making a negative judgement about another person is always a reflection of who you are, not of who they are.

the end! 😀

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Comments
  1. Marvin says:

    I am quite judgmental of others, but I don’t talk about it (other than my blog, lol). And I know that I am no better than anyone else… that I have skills that others lack, and they have skills that I lack.

    In being judgmental, I merely note what people do and how it works out for them. If it works out well and they’re happy, and I thought it would turn out badly, then I note that my prediction was wrong, and I am happy for them. But I think they are making a mistake, and then they suffer from it, then I say to myself, “See, I was right.”

    But I know that I make mistakes too. I try never to make the same mistake twice.

  2. Verbal Alchemy says:

    well u know, i think we like that ‘i told u so’ moment where we feel our innate ability of prediction and judgements over situations were right. gives us a divine quality.

    its good that u r aware of ur mistakes and make a conscious decision not to make them twice. it takes time to develop that alertness.

  3. KJ says:

    I am quite aware of your 3rd point. I used to be a lot like that, and indeed quite a bit now, I judge people because this is how I myself see them. I often do my best to take it easy and learn how the other person is really like. I gained some surprising friendships that way, though I am still finding it difficult not to be quick to judge

  4. KJ: were you judged as a kid?

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