the psychology of deception is an interesting study, especially that of self-deception..

mask

deception by general defenition is the act of convincing another to believe information that is not true, or not the whole truth. (brought to you by Wiki).  (personally i believe hiding facts is just as horrible and hurtful as lying). Self-deception  is the process or act of misleading ourselves to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid, self-deception in short is the way we justify false beliefs to ourselves!

Psychologists usually focus on unconscious motivations and intentions when discussing self-deception, they also usually consider it as a bad thing, although its sometimes used as a self guarding mechanism one uses to avoid getting hurt/broken/shocked. we do it all the time. yes we do. i might even exaggerate and claim its an instinctive act at times! but dont quote me on it : D

In relationships, self-deception sometimes helps couples see the best in each other, to a certain extent, relationships could not survive without some level of self-deception, but too much optimism or denial, can be just as costly. The trick is to engage in self-deception in order to see the best in a partner without letting self-deception create too much vulnerability.  In relationships, it can create more harm than good when it limits people from seeing important warning signs, or it leads people to overlook serious problems, or it causes people to put the best spin on everything that happens.  & frankly thats why i personally dont believe in traditional marriages. as everyone wears a mask and partners use self deception to make the suiter look better in their eyes in order to make it happen and rid themselves of society’s pressures. (which in my very humble opinion, is no valid reason to get married!).

 is there a point of this post? not really, just some psychobabble.  every day life brings thoughts and the psychologist in me keeps analyzing people non-stop!

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Comments
  1. kinziblogs says:

    Psycobabble or not, some good truth of human behavior in there.

  2. Batoul says:

    I request a positive psychobabble soon!
    I’ve been actually put into the situation of traditional marriage and attempted self-deceiving to accept the man as a human in my life. Mission failed. Impossible for me to self-deceive in such a subject. I guess some though are pushed to do so and are so “BRAINWASHED” (previous post lol) to think its of norms. Al7amdella thats not possible in my household.

  3. Verbal Alchemy says:

    kinzi: thanks my dear! good to see you in my corner. missed the blogosphere. should go for a round!
    bless!

  4. Verbal Alchemy says:

    Batoul: couldnt come back after ‘the art of manipulation’ with something positive 😀 had to keep the mood a little. as i am arfaneh of humanity and humans!

    marriage is a very sensetive issue, accepting such a lifelong committment based on self deceipt is a) very wrong b) going to come back with horrible consequences c) very wrong! for some, it works, but not for me. and obviously not for u either.

  5. KJ says:

    Self deception should not be ecnouraged. Yes it may temporarily alleviate present threats, but that is usually called denial. A relationship that sustains itself on deception, self or otherwise, should not be held in the first place.

  6. Marvin says:

    That’s funny, I was thinking about the same thing recently.

  7. Verbal Alchemy says:

    KJ: im not encouraging, bil3ax, i think its one of the main if not the only reason couples who were wed through traditional marriages and the ‘blinded by love’ group of ppl fail to be forever together. however, self-deception is sometimes acceptable to a certain level though, in a very MINUTE dosage. min mabda2 iltames la akheeka 3uthran. its not quite deception, but lets say im referring to ‘7usn thann’ as acceptable until proven otherwise.

  8. Verbal Alchemy says:

    Marv: well rnt we telepathic!

  9. kinziblogs says:

    VA, 3anjad mazbuut! Sorry I haven’t been by, my memory faded after cancer and I forget which bloggers are with which blogs!

  10. Pru says:

    oh dima why dont you call this entry what it really is; a critique of traditional marriage :p You’re decieving yourself when you give it such a general title but you’re not decieving me :O

    I think when a woman is under pressure to get married she might willingly overlook the flaws or the weaknesses of the suiter, the same goes for the man. Overlooking is not self deciept; they can both see but they compromise! Perhaps this way is better since they both enter the marriage knowing that they have to work on it, they do not assume that “love” will maintain them and they are more realistic with their expectations which in my opinion gives them a better chance of succeeding.

    Nice new look btw; it is more YOU 😉

  11. Verbal Alchemy says:

    Pru: LOL 😀

    well overlooking is a choice. but most ppl chose it coz they’re blilnded by sth, some by love, some by community pressure, and some just for personal reasons, like wanting to get out of her parents house by marriage. everyone has a reason, but its not the right way to go i reckon. i might be a perfectionist however!

    thanks hun, i thought so too! 😉

  12. Advice Girlz says:

    I love your freaky fact things. I use them for my myspace site..Advice Girlz.
    Look us up!

  13. Verbal Alchemy says:

    Advice Girlz: thanks girl(s)! we aim to please 😉 will do!

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